The following guide is not for the light of heart. Do not begin this program lightly. Take time to read through these scrolls, and understand what this all about before you embark upon this journey. This is in no shape or form, a guide to the BDSM scene or for just average weekend play partners. This guide is a structured and truncated guide to a actual way of life, a way to actually live and be, and is intended for those whom which to divulge more into the life of Mastery and slavery, throughout their entire lives. It is a very strict guideline, based upon the rituals and codes of the Old School beliefs, a structured type of d/s which existed into the early years of history, started over in the early years of England, and still in several places is performed. These guides have been modified and written by myself, and structured to my own forms and beliefs. Not everything here will work for you, as this is meant nearly as a guide for those interested in the structured lives of M/s (Master/slave).

Owning and training of a slave is very serious and complicated business. Before embarking on a training program, you must decide for yourself what you want and how long you want it. When you have accepted a slave, you must understand that not only has she given up just her freedoms to you, but she has given up her life to you as well in many aspects. This is a risky society we live in, and in many times can lead to danger if not done correctly and properly. Once accepting a slave, you have gone ahead and accepted someone whom will now be “dependant” upon you for his/her every needs and wants. When standing over someone as Master, is probably the greatest responsibility a Dominant can accept over someone else. It is very much similar to standing over a child, in many regards, however unlike such a relationship, as time goes on, your burden of responsibility for the daily life of the child becomes less and less as the child grows up. For a slave, this burden remains constant throughout their entire lives.

Before embarking on this journey with another, you must understand and take a look at your own self. You as a Master/Mistress of a slave, must understand your own self. You must be able to look deep inside yourself, your inner spirit, and harness the power which is inside you, not just to control the other person, but also to control yourself. For One to be able to Master another, they must beforehand be able to Master themselves in “Mind, Spirit, and finally body”. Unlike a play partner, or “bottom”, a slave is the property of the Master or Mistress, not in a legal sense but more or less in a social sense and in spirit. This position is often challenging for both parties, and requires allot of strength on both sides, a lot of understanding and a lot of discipline on both sides. Training can become very tedious at times. You must always keep the atmosphere of training above the slave’s head. You must always take charge and maintain a sense of authority over him or her. If you ignore a slave, or allow training to lack in any shape or form, you will be left with a slave whim’s needs are not met, and in order to gain those needs she will do things and misbehave to seek them. Training is a very difficult task, and takes awhile to maintain but can be brought down like a house of cards with one swoop of the wind.

The ultimate goal to training is very much like what the poem states at the beginning of this passage. The goal here is to enhance qualities of the submissive’s behavior that “already” exist in the slave, so that she becomes more comfortable with herself, has a higher level of self-esteem and self respect, and is able to embrace and celebrate those qualities. His/Her ability to serve you with grace and dignity will follow. We do not necessary change the canvas, or the clay’s physical attributes, or what it is made of, or the actual physical qualities of the musical paper, we only enhance them, shape and mold them.

Do not be mistaken that this journey you embark will be easy. A set of rules, repeated punishments, or anything preset and written like a “slave contract”, will somehow create a good slave. You cannot throw everything at them, and expect them to be a good slave right off the bat. Just like anything which is taught or learned, it takes time for the mind to harness it, and draw such out. Like playing a musical instrument, it takes practice, not just for the submissive but for you as well. This is a relationship, it is not like learning to ride a bike. Mistakes can be devastating to the relationship at hand. Remember always that you are dealing with another human bringing, whom has feelings and emotions of his or her own. A good slave is not a human being whom has been broken in any way, but one whose choices have been reinforced and solidified, one whom has been given every opportunity to grow and become better in their choices.

You will find yourself filling many shoes for your submissive. There will be many jobs which you need to play out, and commit to. There are many tasks which you need to carry forth the role for. These tasks are not easy, and in many shapes and forms can be as commanding as the actual training does. Being a trainer takes allot of skill and allot of strength in a person. Here is a list of some of the roles, which you as a Training Dominant will have to carry out:

• Teacher – Teaching the submissive what it is that you desire from her….
• Counselor – Being there to listen to her and help with her emotional wants
• Parent – The role to a Owner is not very different then a parent….
• Disciplinarian – There maybe times when discipline is necessary
• Mentor – Training has to do with learning, and being a mentor..
• Friend – Friendship is important at the start of any relationship.
• Lover – Feelings and Emotions always play part in the training.

These are some of the major roles which a Trainer must take on. To make a good slave, we must be able to carry out and play each of these roles fluently with the submissive. We can never neglect the jobs and duties of either of these roles, as they will always play out not just in the training, but as times grows on and if you choose the submissive for yourself, during the lives which you carry out. Some trainers do not believe that “love” plays apart in training. I do not see how such can be without it. A D/s relationship is based upon five pillars, and for me, all of these pillars must exist for a relationship to be healthy and to work, even in a training atmosphere.

These pillars are:

Respect, Trust, Honesty, Love, and Obedience

So, there you have it, the groundwork and the basics for D/s training.

The Five pillars of D/s are placed here, because even in a Training Relationship, these pillars must be formed and understood. Both sides must maintain and keep them for any relationship to work. These pillars are not easy to form, and can come down with the wisp of wind. They are very difficult to maintain, however necessary for any basic relationship to work and thrive. The following is a brief essay of “The Five Pillars of D/s”.

What are the 5 Pillars of D/s?

These pillars are the heart of D/s. They are THE reason D/s relationships remain stronger, and more binding than any vanilla relationship. Once a person is within a D/s relationship, they are fully committed to the pillars. Should a single pillar fall, the others fall as well and the entire relationship collapses with them. You cannot have a D/s relationship without all 5 pillars in place in the order they come in. They have a distinct order because you cannot have one pillar without the other next to it.

The first pillar is:

~~Respect~~

That is the foundation of D/s. A person must respect all those involved with D/s in order to become part of the Community. D/s is no joke. It is a life choice. To be in D/s is to accept the fullness of the Community and respect those directly involved. You must respect everyone no matter how upset they make you. That is not to say you should put up with abuse. Rather, respect them in such a manner that you do not take abuse but still respect the D/s.

In a relationship, the respect is very very deep. You must fully respect your partner in a relationship. In a D/s relationship, that respect flows within one’s soul. The more the Dominant and submissive communicate and get to know each other, the more they find a deeper respect.

They begin to become somewhat interested in one another and want to learn and understand more about their possible partner. The submissive may pay a great deal more attention to the Dom/me at this point, communicating interests and playing some with the Him/Her. Then comes the next pillar:

~~Trust~~

Here is where D/s really gets deep. To fully trust someone is probably one of the most difficult things for a person to do, especially if you have been hurt in the past. However, that trust takes time in D/s. You must trust your partner to bind you, whip you and yet not hurt you. If you are a Dom/me, you must trust your partner to respond appropriately to your commands and actions and tell you when something is wrong. You must fully trust each other from the very core of your soul. If you have jealousy, suspicions about each other, your D/s relationship will fail. To fully trust each other means that you can trust them with another person. The submissive trusts the Dom/me with his/her life. The same goes for the Dom/me.

Thus is the D/s life.

~~Loyalty~~

Here comes where the two involved with the relationship are fully loyal to each other and do not do anything behind each other’s backs. The relationship must be kept open, no secrets kept from each other. If the two are going to fully give each other up to one another and tear down the walls between them, then they must not start building new ones by not showing loyalty to the other.

Should the Dom/me wish to be with another submissive, then their current slave/submissive has the right to at least know and express his/her opinion. If the submissive wants to warn the Dom/me about STD’s and such, then the Dom/me must let the submissive know if He/She is going to be with another. This should be done right from the beginning of the relationship and continue throughout it.

The same goes for the submissive. I personally like to be with more that one Dom. However, I am also collared to my Master. I make certain He knows what my desires are at all times. I am very loyal to Him and if He so wishes, He will permit me to be with another Dom that He approves of. I would never go behind His back.

That is loyalty in the D/s way. It is not necessarily talking about fooling around outside the relationship for D/s thrives off of understanding yourself. And, if you require being with other Dom/mes or subs to understand who you are, then according to D/s, that is perfectly fine.

However, the loyalty in D/s insists that you Always let the submissive and/or Dom/me know what is going on. Keep NO secrets from each other else this pillar will fall and eventually so will the pillar of Trust and finally Respect.

~~Love~~

Once you have respect, trust and loyalty, then comes love. This just falls into place naturally. The love becomes very deep and passionate to the point that you feel you cannot live without your partner. You yearn for each other every day and want to be with each other and please each other. The submissive wants to please his/her Dom/me and the Dom/me wants to give the very best He/She can for their angelic sub. This is where some have actually felt that their partner was their soul mate or D/s soul partner. Love in the D/s relationship is far more powerful than that of vanilla. You would do anything for the other. There is a true undying devotion. And, when a collaring ceremony is performed, it is like a true wedding, but deeper, D/s style.

~~Obedience~-

And finally comes Obedience within D/s. Most feel that this is merely for the submissive. However, this is not entirely true. The Dom/me must be obedient in their own way to their submissive and not abuse them, remain in control of themselves, the situation and the sub. If a Dom/me loses control at any point, they lose the obedience of the sub. Therefore, the Dom/me must remain obedient in their own manners.

The submissive, is fully obedient to the Dom/me in that once you reach the love part of D/s the obedience then falls into place. When a person has so much love for another, they just want to do everything they can to please them and make them happy. It is human nature. Within D/s it is just shown in a deeper way through bondage, control, serving, passion etc.

These are the 5 pillars of D/s. They are the foundations, the heart of D/s.

Training a slave for service either to another, or to yourself, is broken up almost into three different parts, each of these areas important as its counterpart. However, throughout training each of these areas are connected in some form. It is important to understand, as a Trainer, and as a slave in training, the connections between these parts. As you go through these various techniques, you will be hitting on each of these areas. If you only focus on one aspect, or one part of the trilogy at the time, you will not be building a slave, you will only end up building a BDSM play partner. The following is a list of the three parts of training, The “MIND”, the “BODY”, and the Spirit.

— The Mind —

It is written that the biggest sexual organ in the body is in fact the brain, or the mind as some put it. Specially if this training is happening in a “online” environment which allot of people nowadays use to begin or start a relationship. The physical will always be there, but the mind plays a bigger part in these relationships. The beginning stages of training focus primarily on the mind, while they incorporate techniques which are of the physical nature, such as kneeling and sexual service, As a Master and Trainer, you must be able to search deep into the mind of the slave, and see what is in there. Many fear venturing into such places, however it is a great importance, specially if the relationship you seek with said girl, is meant to be a life-long one. Even thought, ultimately it is your needs which are to be fed, you must still as a Master, dig deep inside her, and find out what needs inside her must be fed and figure out the best way to feed those needs without compromising your own, and then train her psychologically as well as physically. Through understanding, and the feeling of the mental aspects, your slave begins to build probably the two hardest pillars to fulfill, trust and loyalty.

— The Body —

As a Master, we become responsible for allot of the slave’s needs. Understanding him/her psychologically, also helps us to determine her physical needs, and assist with combining her needs along with yours. Training her body creates in her the constant feeling of being Someone’s property. He/She is reminded that her movements are monitored, her physical needs are met at your discretion, and his/her form is used for practical as well as pleasurable purposes. The body of a submissive is a collection of complicated nerves, and other delicate things. It is like the top of a rose, very delicate and very fragile, but at the same time, beautiful and soft. Our tasks and job as Master is to tend to it, to allow it to grow, and rise up to take in the sun.

— The Spirit —

Inside each of us, stands a very powerful presence. Inside our spirit, is where our feelings and emotions come from. Training the spirit, is just as important as training the mind and the body, each working in a trilogy, which together, brings out true slavery, and true Mastery. The spirit of the slave is what drives the intensity of her desire to serve and please, her drive to bring herself/himself deep within the role, and yours as well. The “spirit” of the slave often develops naturally within her, and in order to train the “spirit”, we must develop and train and teach the slave how to deal with issues and things about it. The spirit is also the focal point for the next two and last pillars of the five pillars of D/s, love and obedience. From the spirit it is believed is where “love”, comes from. It is like a wave which surrounds us, calling to us. It drives our emotions, our passions. I truly believe that in training, not just the slave’s spirit grows, but also the Master’s as well.

And there you have it, The trilogy of slavery.

The Mind, The Body, and The Spirit.

Before you begin the training, you must understand what actually you are training. You need to setup and understand the goals in which you wish to achieve, and if you are training the girl for yourself, what exactly do you want in the relationship. As a Master and Trainer, this is a essential part for yourself to understand. The girl is going to be relying on you deeply, so you need to understand what forth you need. In a relationship, either training or a long-term relationship, it is very important to understand one another and to be clear about what each other’s expectations are. The decision to train, and the decision to form a binding contract between the two of you should wait until both of you have agreed about your goals four yourselves, and the expectations of one another.

D/s is a very serious business, One which should not be taken lightly.

The first step in the beginning of any relationship, is communication, but equally important is the formation of idea of what the relationship between the two people is all about. Both the Master and submissive must ask themselves, “What do I want to get from this relationship” You might want to compose a list of questions to ask each other, to get a better understand and idea on exactly what it is that you want, and what exactly does she want. Understanding these key points is critical to both a long-term relationship, and a training relationship. Once this is done, compare the answers together. When you are at disagreement about a particular area, discussion called for. Understand that in some cases, both of you will have to compromise in some form. Compromising is not weak, and should never be seen as negative. Allot of Masters out there are afraid to compromise, but in a normal “true” relationship, it will happen. Compromising is a form of understanding the girls needs and wants, which are key elements to a true and caring Master.

However, do not allow yourself, as the Master to “barter” with the slave to the point that the submissive’s authority ranks over your own. You must remain in control here, as the Master. You must remember that you truly do have the final decision on everything. At this point, you should already have gotten the basic’s of forming a relationship done, have gone through the position of building the pillars for the relationship to make it strong. You should know each other quite well at this point, so well that in fact, you may have to order your new slave-to-be or slave in training to provide you with honest answers, and not just answers you want to hear. Make sure that what he/she tells you is in fact the truth, and not what you want it to be. This is very vital and important at this point in time and from now on. You two must be able to communicate properly together, for that is the most vital part to training. If this is not able to be done, then there will be huge hurdles down the road.

General questions to answer to yourselves and discuss

• What do I want from this relationship for myself?
• What do I want from this relationship for my partner?
• What am I ethically/morally incapable of doing to achieve these goals?
• What are 3 things I find especially good about our relationship right now?
• What are 3 things which I would like to improve about our relationship in training?
• What areas does the slave which to deal with in training?
• What areas does the Dominant which to deal with in training? These can also be things about himself/herself.
• How will the relationship improve as a result of training?
• What do I think the most challenging areas of training will be for me? for your partner?
• Should training have a time limit, or should it be ongoing?
• What step can I work towards in the relationship? What things can I do to make the relationship better?
• After comparing questions to answer to yourselves and discuss

After comparing the answers, discuss them until you can come up with a mutual satisfactory answer for each question, then move on to the more specific questions.

Rate the following in importance from one to ten. (one being the most important)
What are the most important qualities in a Master?

• Patience
• Understanding & Communication Skills
• Love
• Control & Authority
• Compassion
• Caring
• Protection & Attention to Safety
• Trust
• Loyalty
• Respect
• Consistency
• Sexual Skills
• Decision Making Skills
• Sense of Humor
• Positive Self Esteem
• Honesty

Traits & Qualities of a Master

Patience

A True Dominant must have patience to listen and understand a sub’s feelings and views. He/She must have patience in order to use bondage and control with the sub. Should a Dominant lack any patience at all, a bondage session could go wrong and someone could get hurt. A Dominant must Especially, use patience when disciplining or punishing the sub.

Understand & Communication Skills

A True Dominant may not always agree with a submissive, but He/She will always understand, even just a little. There is always that communication there keeping the understanding ongoing.

Love

A True Dominant will hold a deep love for His/Her submissive at all times. It can even hurt the Dominant to punish and discipline the sub due to the love that is there and not wanting to see the sub hurting. That love is never ending, unbreakable by all things, including society.

Control & Authority

A True Dominant of course must have control. That control is pure. A Dominant does not think they control a sub just because they can. Instead, they control the sub out of love, caring and compassion. They use that control to help the submissive to become a better person, to keep the sub in line, and because the sub enjoys being controlled.

Compassion

A True Dominant will always have compassion for a submissive. Perhaps You do not know the sub personally, but because You are the Dominant and he/she is the sub, some form of compassion still exists. As for Your own sub, a deeper compassion lies within You.

Caring

A True Dominant cares for all submissives, but most especially His/Her own. He/She will do anything for the submissive to keep him/her happy and comfortable. The submissive is like a pet to the Dominant. He/She feels obligated to take very good care of the sub because He/She loves His/Her pet.

Protection & Attention to Safety

A True Dominant will also have a sense of protection for His/Her sub. He/She will go great lengths to keep the submissive safe and secure. Some Dominants will even give up Their families for a sub. Though that may seem like a lot to give up, just remember, this is not “vanilla”, this is D/s. He/She will also go at great lengths to protect the submissive, also means to keep him/her safe. It means to follow the limits set and make sure no unneeded harm comes to the person.

Trust

A True Dominant will always trust the sub to do the right thing without having to constantly command the sub. If a submissive comes across another Dominant, the True Dominant must trust the sub to do the right thing. Of course, the sub should do the right thing and return to his/her Dominant right away.

Loyalty

A True Dominant has a great deal of loyalty towards His/Her submissive. He/She has a difficult time playing with other submissives even at times. Though that does tend to sound somewhat “vanilla,” some Dominants believe in even having only one slave/submissive. Their loyalty to Their sub is so great they will never forsake the sub in any way

Respect

A True Dominant has a great deal of respect not just towards the gift which the submissive gives Him/Her, but whom the submissive is. Respect comes with respecting the person’s humanity, respecting the person’s way of life. This is no different then the respect achieved when building the great five pillars of the relationship.

Consistency

A True Dominant will remain consistent in his ways. He/She will not change things all of the time, all over again. They will keep things very same, as if they continue to change things all the time, the submissive will become confused and not know what is what, or what to do. The dominant must remain consistent in his/her actions, her ways, and how he/she treats the submissive. This is vital specially in training so the submissive can learn properly what to do. Now as a relationship always changes, so does needs and sometimes desires, so there will be times during the relationship where things do change slightly, depending on what the requirements of the relationships are, however the dominant will still maintain some form of consistency in what He/She does.

Sexual Skills

These traits and qualities pertain to the abilities of the dominant to please the submissive and the ability to give what the submissive requires. D/s is a very sexual lifestyle, and in such, the slave is there mostly to please the Master/Mistress, however the slave must receive some pleasure back. Just ordering the girl around, and not showing her any compassion or love, will find yourself with major issues in the relationship. Remember, this is a relationship, and feelings do get involved.

Decision Making Skills

This ability and quality is a very strong and hard one to master, the ability to make a decision. There will be allot of times when you are drawn to making a decision about the submissive’s life. If you are not capable of being able to decide what to do, then there will become times where the submissive will question your strength. You must be able to make good decision and wise one, in the goodness of the submissive, and not based on faulty thoughts. Remember this is a person’s life you now hold in your hand, make sure you do not abuse it. It is ok sometimes to ask the submissive what he/she thinks, however doing so all the time, will lead the submissive to feeling like she is just Mastering herself. Asking the submissive how he/she feels about something is not always a bad thing however use it wisely, and remember ultimately the final decision is yours.

Sense of Humor

I have placed this in here as a trait, because I feel that at times, there will be times when you will need to spend time with the submissive in a vanilla atmosphere. This trait might be important to some as it leads to good communication skills, and the ability to spend time with each other outside of the D/s environment, which I feel is a healthy importance to relationships.

Positive Self Esteem

The ability to feel good about yourself leads to strength and control of your own feelings and emotions. If you are depressed about yourself, and do not feel good about yourself, other qualities and traits will fall along with this. I feel this is a highly strong point, and quality trait but to some it may not be as important.

Honesty

The ability to tell the truth is not only part of the pillars of D/s but also the most important trait there is. If your not able to tell the truth to the submissive, you have no reason to be with her.

What are the most important qualities in a submissive?

• Honesty
• Loyalty
• Sexual Skill
• Desire to please
• Communication Skills & Understanding
• Sense of Humor
• Caring
• Trust in Master
• Ability to Follow Rules
• Obedience
• Positive Self Image
• Love

Traits & Qualities of a submissive

Honesty

Honesty is a very important trait for a submissive. We as Dominants cannot see into your mind with a crystal ball. There is no such thing for us. We must be able to honesty be able to see what is inside your head, know your thoughts, know your feelings, and understand them to properly Master you. If we cannot see such things, then we will not know what is going on inside your head. If there is something bothering you, then you must honestly be able to tell us. Just as Honesty is important to a Master, such is it for the slave

Loyalty

This goes the same for the submissive in the regards as it does for the Dominant. Especially in Long Distance Relationships, where you are not physically there with the sub, We as dominants take your honest word of your loyalty. It is very hard to go behind someone’s back, specially when they cannot see, however it ruins the entire aspect of training. The dominant trusts you with apart of His/Her life, and in such, He/She expects you to remain loyal to the relationship.

Sexual Service

Sexual Service is the ability to please the Dominant, and tend to his needs and desires. Each person is different, and thus each Dominant will have different needs. The sexual aspect does play a role within Mastery and Slavery, and a very large role at that. Sexual Service does not just always mean intercourse either, it could mean just pleasure, even giving a back rub could be considered sexual service.

Desire to please

The desire to please is a deep feeling which each submissive has within themselves, to please their owner. This does not mean sexually either, which falls under the previous trait, however to please them in what you do, how you act, what you say. The trait to be “pleasing” is important because it is the groundwork for your servitude to your Owner.

Communication Skills & Understanding

The ability to communicate goes along with being able to be honest and loyal in a relationship. The submissive will in time will not agree with the Dominant’s position, but must understand that He/She is doing their best to make the proper decisions, which comes along with trust. The submissive must be able to communicate properly to the Dominant, his/her feelings so the Dominant knows what is going inside their head.

Sense of Humor

Just like any relationship, Sense of Humor is important because there will be times where the two of you will be together. A Sense of humor brings self esteem and self confidence, and interest to the relationship, and is a very important aspect in D/s

Caring

Apart of the submissive’s position is to take care of the Dominant, just like it is His/Her job to take care of her/him. The submissive will do anything which he/she can to make the Dominant happy. The submissive feels obligated to to take very good of the Dominant because They are his/her owner. The ability to be caring comes into the picture. It is also important for the submissive to care for him or herself. They can care for themselves, by keeping themselves clean, well tended to, and prepared mentally and physically and spiritually to serve their Owner.

Trust

A True submissive will always trust the Dominant to do the right thing. If a submissive comes across another Dominant, the True Dominant must trust the sub to do the right thing. Of course, the sub should do the right thing and return to his/her Dominant right away.

Ability to Follow Rules

No matter what form of a relationship which you are in, there will always be some sort of rules which you must adhere by. These rules set the guidelines for what is excepted within the relationship, and what is not. They set the road in which you as a submissive will follow. They are the driving factor for a Dominant to be able to control another person.

Obedience

The trait of being obedient, means just as it states. To follow the Master or Mistress’s footsteps, allow them to lead you, allow them to take your hand and walk you down the journey with them. To follow them, to understand them, to be just about all of these traits with them. To not disobey their lead, or cause intentional trouble during the relationship. There is always a difference between testing the lines, and outright disobedience, so remember that.

Positive Self Esteem

Positive self esteem is what you feel about yourself, and how you feel about yourself. It is the ability to look into the mirror and say you are a good person. We all have different looks, and sometimes they are not important, but it is always important to see what is in the inside of yourself, and what you are made out of. A positive self esteem brings happiness, the ability to serve, and the ability to be good about yourself, another important trait for a submissive.

Love

Finally, the last trait is “love”. Love is the ability to open up your heart and your mind to your Owner. It is the ability to break down those walls, trust them, respect them, be honest to them, and be obedient to them. It is the ability to shine, show your true feelings and emotions to them, allowing them to harness them and bring them out of you, so you two may shine with them. That is the trait of love.

The next thing which you should do after preparing these figures, you should also take a moment to rate these as you see your partner doing so. Your ratings will not always match up, but it gives you the groundwork for which you can discuss things, and will bring each of you together. Remember, that in time, things can be overcome. Physical attributes can always change, and will always change. Be respectful to not just yourself, but your partner, and remember to talk about things. find him/her to be a true and total servant to you.

A sample training contract is a consensual agreement between a   Dominant and a submissive that specifies the roles, rights, and  responsibilities of the people involved. You must understand that a contract is not a legal binding piece of paper by government standards, it is more or less, a document to solidify the points of  agreement between yourself and your partner. It provides sense of awareness of the importance of the commitment, not just for the Dominant but also for the submissive as well.

The contract itself, should not be lengthy. You should keep it short and general as much as possible, and straight to the point. There  should be plenty of leverage within it to account for unforeseen events or problems which may occur in every relationship, and matter. The wording should be well chosen. It does not have to be fancy  looking or “built up” which can make the document confusing to read.It should be very straight to the point, and written clearly so it is easily understood. Try not to use fancy words, or things which do not  make any general sense, requiring many times to look over. This contract must be something which can be stuck in both of you. It doesn’t have to be memorized, but there should always be a general  understanding over it. The submissive must understand the contract.

The contract should not include rules of behavior, except in a  “general” sense. It should not be detailed to the point where it is ninety pages long. The more complicated it is, the easier it will be  to “break” the contract, and once it is broken it becomes nothing more  then a worthless piece of paper. it should not include anything like,  mode of dress, rules, sexuality details, hygiene, or anything inviting  to actually “break” the contract. Again, it needs to be short, simple  and to the point, remember this.

 You both must be able to agree with the contract and what has been  proposed. You both should be free to discuss issues and concerns  within the contract, be able to go over points, ask questions and make  suggestions. As the Dominant or Trainer, it is up to you to compose the initial document and terms of the agreement, and put them out on  the table to be discussed. You have the option of being inflexible  with certain aspects, but if you are inflexible with things, be prepared to handle and deal with rejection. You as the Dominant must take the hit for such if the contract is indeed rejected. You must  insure emotional safety of the trainee and be able to accept its  rejection without consequence to the slave. Remember to listen to your  partner, for they may have a valuable opinion on certain things, and understand certain things. Remember, communication is a important  aspect to the relationship. When discussing the contract, do so in a non-threatening, comfortable venue. The submissive should be able to express his/her feelings freely. Remember, that when a submissive/slave accepts a contract of this caliber, they are making a choice which has potential effect and impact on the rest of their life.

The actual signing of the contract is up to you. There are various ways in which you can go about such. Some people make a formal presentation when signing the contract in front of a witness, as any contract is usually signed. Some people do such during the actual collaring of the slave. Some do such during a marriage type proceedings. Dress, actions, and the way the situation is handled, is totally up to you as the Dominant.

One formal way of tending to the signing of the contract is to have the slave kneeling in a chosen position by yourself, wearing nothing,  stating her desire and wish to enter the training and ask your permission to do so. One granted, both parties, starting with the  dominant, should read the contract out loud. Once the contract has  been read, it should be asked upon the submissive, if he/she  understands the terms of the contract, and agrees to them. Upon her  agreement and acceptance of the terms, both of the parties should then  sign the contract. Then the collar of training is presented and placed  upon the girl, which will be worn till she has completed the training program. At this moment in time, the contract begins the period of training for the submissive. The Trainer/Dominant should be the one whom which holds the document, and such should be viewable by the submissive at the appropriate time with a appropriate request. An inappropriate time, would be during punishment, or when the submissive is being corrected. These moments, the submissive may use the contract  as a tool in which to get out of something, and such should never be given to him/her. The submissive/slave will make mistakes from time to time, but if the general terms of the contract are not upheld, she/he should understand that the contract cannot just be completely torn up and stopped. The contract pledges servitude to you for a certain period of time, and it must be clear, that he/she will be required and made to continue their obligations to the end.

If the slave/submissive fails to adhere to the principles of the contract and cause it to become null and void through dismissal of the principles of the contract, the training should then stop immediately, and the submissive/slave should understand, that there might not be another opportunity to be trained by you. You must be firm in this and prepared to follow through should the slave choose to break the contract. Circumstances that would allow the submissive/slave a second  chance, are extremely rare, or nonexistent. This contract is a very important aspect of the training program, and is something which should not be taken lightly.

 This should also be understood for the Dominant/Owner as well. If You are incapable of holding your end of the contract, such as if your training becomes sporadic, guidance is not available, the submissive/slave will most likely not presume a relationship after the contracted time with you. The ability to trust or respect will then so forth be broken, and you will make little to no progress during the training period. It is absolutely essential that you prove yourself trustworthy and consider yourself bound by the terms oft he signed  contract. If for any reason, you feel you cannot pledge as much as the submissive is, then do not use a contract.

If you feel you cannot reasonably uphold the principles of the Master/slave relationship to the point where you feel uncomfortable signing a contract, you should reconsider your desire to own a slave. With or without a contract, your responsibility remains the same.

The first step into the training program is to get a understanding for your slave, and get a glance into his/her head. This is one of the most important steps in the training process, and step in controlling him/her. In the first stage of training, you must create a environment of “revelation and disclose”, in which your slave is not only allowed, but is also required to reveal her inner self to you, her thoughts, her feelings, her insights, her desires, and anything else which you may find out is per tent to know about your slave. In this section of training, you must fulfill the position of a counselor, and good listener, encouraging her to open up to you, drawing open doors in her mind, bringing down walls inside her, which she may never, even with her own self, explored before. It is through this kind of talking and communicating, that you will be able to get a bigger picture of whom your slave is, be able to understand her more, as a slave, and as a human being, and understand why your slave has the need to serve, and what is the best way to fulfill such. This is also the best way to find out which tools or actions she will need to be able to fulfill such a role. It is a good way to decide what levels of training which you wish to enroll with her, how much to push, and what to push.

In this position, you will need to know how to ask the right questions, what information to probe for, and how to probe for it. You will need to know how to get inside his/her head, because that is mostly where we will wield our control, which is inside her head. This procedure will not happen overnight. it will take a few days for the slave to become acquainted with you, and comfortable. This task should be done perhaps a bit each day. This will only be able to be determined on the first day of starting, to see how much she/he is willing to open up. Do not force him/her into a position which he/she begins to feel uncomfortable. This will only cause the girl/boy to tighten up their walls, and you will never get in. Remember the key word here is “balance”.

It is important to make the slave understand that nothing can be hidden from you, and that this stage is essential to the training. Unlike the slave, you are not required to lay down your thoughts on things before his/hers, or to give him/her any thought that you have any reason or indication that you will do so. it is inadvisable to interject your own thoughts and feelings during these times and sessions. The point is for the slave to begin the process of disclosure, and do so with the realization that he/she is obligated to do nothing less. There will be times when you can open your heart to your slave, but this is not the right moment.

Remember also, to make the slave feel comfortable, so they can open their heart to you. Do not start drilling them with a billion questions, or putting them on trial. You shouldn’t judge them at this point, only allowing them to talk and open up their heart and mind to you. Do not judge him/her for their past, experiences, feelings, or fantasies unless your expression is one in the positive. Your goal is to open him/her up to you. If you give any negative reaction, it will only cause them to close up more, and the exact opposite with what you want will happen. Be careful of your bodily expressions, specially those of your facial ones. Those showing bordem will show lack of interest, those showing shock. disbelief, humor, or any other distaste to register, will only do as stated, cause the person to clam up even more, and it shows lack of strength and composure on your part.

I have been a psychologist in training and schooling for quite some time. There are some great books on techniques such as this, and its advised for new Trainers to read up on it. This is not a easy task which to take in. The slightest mistake can set you back for a very long time. Remember this carefully.

Some basic guidelines to help with this disclosure process:

• Firstly, eliminate distractions such as the television, music, phones, computers, even the outside. The room should be as peaceful and quiet as you can make it, to give a feeling of peace, and allow you to focus totally on the slave. There should be nothing that distracts both you or herself/himself.
• The slave should be facing you kneeling, and in a relaxed position. Not held up tight or bent into a weird kneeling position.
• Do not allow the slave any clothing as clothing can sometimes become a “barrier”, and your purpose here is to break down barriers between you and him/her.
• Encourage the slave to speak freely to you. You may consider dropping the use of the title to help the flow of her thoughts come about. Again, your trying to make the girl relax, so she can virtually tell you her “life story”

Some things which you should keep in mind

• Observe the slave’s reactions, not just verbal ones, but also physical reactions. Does he/she seem unhappy, uncomfortable, Depressed. Does the slave shrug, look down and frown, close their eyes, move their eyes around trying to look at other thing to distract themselves. These are all signs of things which you need to dig a bit more to find out about.
• Keep the slave talking, but direct the focus of the conversation towards ideas, incidents and memories that might directly relate him/her to their need or desire of slavery. Ask questions that forces the slave to look deep down inside her heart, to examine her feelings, her emotions, and her fears. Help her discover and learn about why these feelings exist inside of her. However, keep her moving along as well. She will be telling you a great deal, but you do not need to know unnecessary information. What is necessary and unnecessary is totally up to you however.
• Retain and use the information which you find out. You may find out about fantasies, you may find out about past history, abuse which may lead to certain disciplines being not so good with her. You may find out about things she has dreamed about and understood.

The things which you achieve from this talk with be very valuable information. They will be the keys to the slave’s inner self, her mind. You will form a connection with the slave, which is not easily broken. You will get to know him/her. This concept of disclosure will promote a psychological dependency with you. He/She will have such a tight bond towards you, a physical and mental bond, which will allow him/her to be a true and total servant to you.

The journal is the next step in slave training. The journal is also apart of the disclosure process. The English definition for “a journal” is a daily record of happenings, a diary of sorts, or a ship’s logbook. This is exactly what the journal is. It is a daily record of the slave’s training, a diary of his/her life, and a logbook of the journey which he or she takes within the training.

The training journal is the journal in which we will discuss here, but the same concepts can be used when the slave has completed training. This is a discipline which should be kept up and maintained. I myself find the journal a very important aspect for the slave. It is a place where they can voice their feelings, their thoughts, their opinions. It is a safe haven for them to speak their minds. When you allow a journal, you should instruct the slave, that they can write whatever they feel like. You should not punish them for what is written in the journal because it is for them. If you discipline them for something written there, then they will not feel the freedom which they have in writing there. It is specifically for them, a safe haven for them to voice their true feelings. You should however read it on a daily basis, as it is a good way for you to also get within their mind, and see what they speak of.

The following is what should be kept in the training journal:

• A daily record of the day’s happenings.
• Any new instructions or rules which have been added
• A detailed account of feelings, reactions, thoughts, fears, desires, questions act.
• Anything which is too hard to speak verbally to the trainer
• Detail account of scenes tended to

Detailed account of punishments given, thoughts on said punishments, and the ways which are going to be done to correct the unwanted behavior.

A slave should make a entry in their journal before bedtime each night. In the morning they should then re-read the previous night’s entry and make any comments which the slave felt were important to make. Nothing should be removed from the journal or erased, but only added. As the mind rests, sometimes new thoughts arise within the mind of the slave.

The input from a slave is crucial to a good trainer/Dominant. They must be aware of the slave’s true feelings. They must be able to see within the head of that submissive, and understand what is going on in there. You as a trainer, must understand the nature of submission. It is often very difficult for them to voice their concerns, disappointments, fears and hurts directly to the person. Very often they will say what they think the Dominant wants them to say, only to be found pleasing. it is much easier for them to write it down on paper, or record it in a journal while they are alone, and not underneath the eyes of their overseer.

Remember, that the journal should not replace the open communication between a Dominant and the submissive. if you find your trainee writing more in their journal then telling you face to face, there is a serious problem in communication between the two of you, and you might way to take a step back to figure out what that problem is. It should only be used as a tool to build trust and skills in voicing the feelings a submissive has written about. When the slave makes a entry, you should always take time to talk about what was written in that entry. You as a trainer, should encourage the slave to open up his/her feelings and share them. Once the slave feels that the trainer is not going to get angry or disappointed, it will get easier to talk bout things, then writing them.

The journal is also a benefit for the slave in training. It allows them to go back and see how their training is changing them, or molding them. It allows them to see how much they have grown. The journal is also a good way to make sure there is no misunderstandings, specially with rules and instructions. Recording them and then having them gone over, is a good way for the trainer to make sure they were understood clearly and precisely.

The following are guidelines and techniques for establishing control within the submissive’s lives. When you have a submissive/slave in training, they must be able to feel the control of the Dominant or Owner, just about in every aspect of their lives. The best way to begin control of the mind, the body, and the spirit, is through the use of restrictions. Once the slave understands that her freedom is no longer her own, and is being denied to her, she understands the scope of her commitment. Remember that as everything is with D/s, you must find a balance between building a trusting relationship and limiting freedom. It is very easy for the submissive to feel like a “prisoner” mores then a slave when she is overwhelmed. This is a very intricate process to controlling a slave, and must be taken very carefully. You must understand the psychological impacts to the restrictions which you place upon your trainee.

Restricting the slave’s sexuality

One aspect of restriction is to restrict the slave’s sexuality. This brings her to believe and feel that her sexual pleasures now rely upon you. That you control what she receives, and how she receives it. The following are a few pointers concerning sexual restrictions.

• The slave must no longer have the right to say “no” to any sexual demand or request made by you.
• The slave should not be allowed to touch herself/himself in a sexual manner without an order from you.
• The slave should be denied orgasms unless you demand such of him/her
• The slave should be taught to ask permission for any orgasms and even beg for release. Orgasms without permission should be punished. UNDERSTAND: In the Gorean environment, asking for release was not written in the books. You should take this into consideration if you are seeking a Gorean relationship. They frowned upon such.

Restrictions of a slave’s privacy

• Call for “inspections” of the slave’s body. Call for such when it is least expected.Inspect a slave after a shower, whether it be needed or not. An inspection for cleanliness after the slave uses the bathroom is extremely humiliating, but powerful reminder that he/she has given up all aspects of control and rights to the most private aspects of her life. Don’t inspect the genital areas specifically. Give attention to the slave’s hair, teeth, gums, nails, act. This reminds her that all aspects of her body are now under your control and cannot be shielded by false modesty.
• Allow the slave to keep nothing secret.However, you should not monitor a slave’s phone calls and phone use. You should not infringe on the slave’s right of privacy as this can be considered “illegal” by many country based laws. It is best just to disallow phone calls all together, if you wish to control this aspect. Another thing is not to open a slave’s mail. Allow her to open her own mail and turn it over to you if that is your agreement. If your slave refuses to do so, then find out why.
• The slave should not spend time on the computer alone, or without your expressed knowledge. The slave should also not have anything pass worded which you cannot get into. Any chats or postings should be saved and reviewed by you.
• The slave should not be able to close doors behind them.
• The slave must feel your presence during the most intimate times.
• Do not allow the slave to be evasive in conversations with you. Encourage him/her to examine her thoughts and feelings and reveal them to you.

Restrictions of a slave’s time

• Once a slave’s training has begun, the slave must realize that his/her time is no longer belonging to them. The slave now operates on your schedule, and your schedule alone, does what you wish of him/her.In the first few months of training, a slave should be denied free time to himself/herself to drive home the feeling of slavery, as well as to focus totally on his/her training, and not allow other activities to distract such. The slave’s day and night should be filled of activities in which you designate. You should be very detailed, but generally, the slave should tend matters of housekeeping, cleaning, personal care for her Owner/Dominant, then himself/herself, and most importantly practicing, journaling, or anything else you may find fit to assign to them.
• Disallow the slave use of the television, phone, computer, or other electronic devices and games during the first few months of her training. This should be seen as a reward for good behavior, as any other privilege would be, and made available in small doses to increase the slave’s appreciation, acceptance, and understanding or rewards.
• When a slave has nothing else to do, they should be placed in a position of attendance at your feet, to be called upon. This could be a slave mat, directly at your feet, or in a room till they are needed.
• The slave should be given a time to rise each morning, and a time to go to bed each night. These times do not need to be set with yours. The slave should usually rise before the Dominant/Owner so he/she can do morning rituals to prepare for His/Her waking.
• The slave should have a balanced diet, however should have set times in which he/she is allowed to eat.
• The slave should be restricted on how many times they are permitted to go to the restroom during the day.

Restriction of a slave’s environment

A slave which is currently under training should contain some environment restrictions. When used sensibly and properly, can open up the concept of full time serving. Please note, that “sensible” and “proper” being the key words here. Keeping a woman locked up in a dungeon, sitting in a cage, totally at your mercy is not only unreal, but immoral in the same. We must understand once again the psychological ramifications for doing what we are doing.

• Restrict the slave to the house, only allowing them outside of the house to tend with their job or schooling. The slave should not be let outside of the house without your knowledge or presence. This should only be done for a few weeks, and then some outside time should be given for the sanity of the slave.
• Initially all excursions into the outside world, should be done at your digression, and have purposes that relate directly to her place as a slave. These purposes could be running errands, grocery shopping, washing the car, cutting the lawn, tending to the garden, and other things such as this. The slave should be given just enough time to complete these tasks, and told to return home after such. The “initial” trips should be issued as rewards for good behavior, even though the slave’s time is spend in service. If a slave misbehaves or spends more time then is allowed, such should be met with harsh punishment, and removal of such rights, to understand once again that a slave’s time is not his/her own.
• The slave should be restricted to the house. They should not be allowed to enter certain areas, such as your bed chambers, your study, office area, or other places which are personal to you. This could even be a closet, or chest, or drawers where your personal belongings are held. You might restrict the slave to a specific room, or a group of rooms, or part of the house during the first few days/weeks of his/her training. Those rooms should be the ones which is required to tend his/her tasks such as the kitchen, bathroom, and sleeping quarters. If your home is small, you may consider restricting him/her to a piece of furniture, or chained to a pipe, seeing that the slave is confined to a small space, and not free to roam.

After the training program has done with and completed, the slave should still maintain some restrictions. She may be restricted from using furniture, sitting, sleeping in the Dominant’s/Owner’s bed, doing things without permission. This is a maintenance technique which helps to continually reinforce the slave’s placement and status in the relationship.

• Restraining the slave for long periods of time and leaving him/her alone or “caging” him/her for long periods of time is not recommended due to safety reasons, in the initial stages of training. The slave can end up freaking out, specially if the slave has not formed a trusting deep relationship with you yet. It may scare him or her too much. In most cases, Long Term Restrictions are concerned extreme and unhealthy, physically, mentally and psychologically. Here are some pointers and ideas when leaving a slave in long term bondage
• A slave whom is physically bound by rope, chain or anything else, must always have a means to escape such bondage. The reasons for this is, should you become ill, pass out, have a heart attack, or for the worse extreme case die, a fire, or another sort of emergency, the slave should know how to release himself/herself.
• A key could be placed in a envelope within the slave’s reach, if the bounds are locking. Sealing wax, or some other way of sealing the envelope should be used, which could not be replaced, so you as the Dominant/Owner would know if the slave had used such. If opened without a good reason, the slave should be met with strict and harsh punishment.
• Use “quick release” knots when working with ropes. The slave should easily be able to pull upon the ropes to release the bonds.
• If her restrictions take place outside of your eyes, or ears, the slave should be able to quickly release himself/herself, and instructed on methods to do so. A slave should NEVER be left helpless without supervision.
• Do not disregard the possibility of emotional emergencies. Slaves may, specially if this is the first time in long term bondage, become distressed, and begin to panic. Extreme emotional distress is a emergency, and the slave should not be punished for such. Another method of restriction should be found if this happens.
• Finally, restricting a slave’s environment does not mean IGNORING him/her. You MUST check in on him/her from time to time, to reassure yourself and him/her of safety, that you care, and am not just leaving them there