The following guide is not for the light of heart. Do not begin this program lightly. Take time to read through these scrolls, and understand what this all about before you embark upon this journey. This is in no shape or form, a guide to the BDSM scene or for just average weekend play partners. This guide is a structured and truncated guide to a actual way of life, a way to actually live and be, and is intended for those whom which to divulge more into the life of Mastery and slavery, throughout their entire lives. It is a very strict guideline, based upon the rituals and codes of the Old School beliefs, a structured type of d/s which existed into the early years of history, started over in the early years of England, and still in several places is performed. These guides have been modified and written by myself, and structured to my own forms and beliefs. Not everything here will work for you, as this is meant nearly as a guide for those interested in the structured lives of M/s (Master/slave).

Owning and training of a slave is very serious and complicated business. Before embarking on a training program, you must decide for yourself what you want and how long you want it. When you have accepted a slave, you must understand that not only has she given up just her freedoms to you, but she has given up her life to you as well in many aspects. This is a risky society we live in, and in many times can lead to danger if not done correctly and properly. Once accepting a slave, you have gone ahead and accepted someone whom will now be “dependant” upon you for his/her every needs and wants. When standing over someone as Master, is probably the greatest responsibility a Dominant can accept over someone else. It is very much similar to standing over a child, in many regards, however unlike such a relationship, as time goes on, your burden of responsibility for the daily life of the child becomes less and less as the child grows up. For a slave, this burden remains constant throughout their entire lives.

Before embarking on this journey with another, you must understand and take a look at your own self. You as a Master/Mistress of a slave, must understand your own self. You must be able to look deep inside yourself, your inner spirit, and harness the power which is inside you, not just to control the other person, but also to control yourself. For One to be able to Master another, they must beforehand be able to Master themselves in “Mind, Spirit, and finally body”. Unlike a play partner, or “bottom”, a slave is the property of the Master or Mistress, not in a legal sense but more or less in a social sense and in spirit. This position is often challenging for both parties, and requires allot of strength on both sides, a lot of understanding and a lot of discipline on both sides. Training can become very tedious at times. You must always keep the atmosphere of training above the slave’s head. You must always take charge and maintain a sense of authority over him or her. If you ignore a slave, or allow training to lack in any shape or form, you will be left with a slave whim’s needs are not met, and in order to gain those needs she will do things and misbehave to seek them. Training is a very difficult task, and takes awhile to maintain but can be brought down like a house of cards with one swoop of the wind.

The ultimate goal to training is very much like what the poem states at the beginning of this passage. The goal here is to enhance qualities of the submissive’s behavior that “already” exist in the slave, so that she becomes more comfortable with herself, has a higher level of self-esteem and self respect, and is able to embrace and celebrate those qualities. His/Her ability to serve you with grace and dignity will follow. We do not necessary change the canvas, or the clay’s physical attributes, or what it is made of, or the actual physical qualities of the musical paper, we only enhance them, shape and mold them.

Do not be mistaken that this journey you embark will be easy. A set of rules, repeated punishments, or anything preset and written like a “slave contract”, will somehow create a good slave. You cannot throw everything at them, and expect them to be a good slave right off the bat. Just like anything which is taught or learned, it takes time for the mind to harness it, and draw such out. Like playing a musical instrument, it takes practice, not just for the submissive but for you as well. This is a relationship, it is not like learning to ride a bike. Mistakes can be devastating to the relationship at hand. Remember always that you are dealing with another human bringing, whom has feelings and emotions of his or her own. A good slave is not a human being whom has been broken in any way, but one whose choices have been reinforced and solidified, one whom has been given every opportunity to grow and become better in their choices.

You will find yourself filling many shoes for your submissive. There will be many jobs which you need to play out, and commit to. There are many tasks which you need to carry forth the role for. These tasks are not easy, and in many shapes and forms can be as commanding as the actual training does. Being a trainer takes allot of skill and allot of strength in a person. Here is a list of some of the roles, which you as a Training Dominant will have to carry out:

• Teacher – Teaching the submissive what it is that you desire from her….
• Counselor – Being there to listen to her and help with her emotional wants
• Parent – The role to a Owner is not very different then a parent….
• Disciplinarian – There maybe times when discipline is necessary
• Mentor – Training has to do with learning, and being a mentor..
• Friend – Friendship is important at the start of any relationship.
• Lover – Feelings and Emotions always play part in the training.

These are some of the major roles which a Trainer must take on. To make a good slave, we must be able to carry out and play each of these roles fluently with the submissive. We can never neglect the jobs and duties of either of these roles, as they will always play out not just in the training, but as times grows on and if you choose the submissive for yourself, during the lives which you carry out. Some trainers do not believe that “love” plays apart in training. I do not see how such can be without it. A D/s relationship is based upon five pillars, and for me, all of these pillars must exist for a relationship to be healthy and to work, even in a training atmosphere.

These pillars are:

Respect, Trust, Honesty, Love, and Obedience

So, there you have it, the groundwork and the basics for D/s training.

The Five pillars of D/s are placed here, because even in a Training Relationship, these pillars must be formed and understood. Both sides must maintain and keep them for any relationship to work. These pillars are not easy to form, and can come down with the wisp of wind. They are very difficult to maintain, however necessary for any basic relationship to work and thrive. The following is a brief essay of “The Five Pillars of D/s”.

What are the 5 Pillars of D/s?

These pillars are the heart of D/s. They are THE reason D/s relationships remain stronger, and more binding than any vanilla relationship. Once a person is within a D/s relationship, they are fully committed to the pillars. Should a single pillar fall, the others fall as well and the entire relationship collapses with them. You cannot have a D/s relationship without all 5 pillars in place in the order they come in. They have a distinct order because you cannot have one pillar without the other next to it.

The first pillar is:

~~Respect~~

That is the foundation of D/s. A person must respect all those involved with D/s in order to become part of the Community. D/s is no joke. It is a life choice. To be in D/s is to accept the fullness of the Community and respect those directly involved. You must respect everyone no matter how upset they make you. That is not to say you should put up with abuse. Rather, respect them in such a manner that you do not take abuse but still respect the D/s.

In a relationship, the respect is very very deep. You must fully respect your partner in a relationship. In a D/s relationship, that respect flows within one’s soul. The more the Dominant and submissive communicate and get to know each other, the more they find a deeper respect.

They begin to become somewhat interested in one another and want to learn and understand more about their possible partner. The submissive may pay a great deal more attention to the Dom/me at this point, communicating interests and playing some with the Him/Her. Then comes the next pillar:

~~Trust~~

Here is where D/s really gets deep. To fully trust someone is probably one of the most difficult things for a person to do, especially if you have been hurt in the past. However, that trust takes time in D/s. You must trust your partner to bind you, whip you and yet not hurt you. If you are a Dom/me, you must trust your partner to respond appropriately to your commands and actions and tell you when something is wrong. You must fully trust each other from the very core of your soul. If you have jealousy, suspicions about each other, your D/s relationship will fail. To fully trust each other means that you can trust them with another person. The submissive trusts the Dom/me with his/her life. The same goes for the Dom/me.

Thus is the D/s life.

~~Loyalty~~

Here comes where the two involved with the relationship are fully loyal to each other and do not do anything behind each other’s backs. The relationship must be kept open, no secrets kept from each other. If the two are going to fully give each other up to one another and tear down the walls between them, then they must not start building new ones by not showing loyalty to the other.

Should the Dom/me wish to be with another submissive, then their current slave/submissive has the right to at least know and express his/her opinion. If the submissive wants to warn the Dom/me about STD’s and such, then the Dom/me must let the submissive know if He/She is going to be with another. This should be done right from the beginning of the relationship and continue throughout it.

The same goes for the submissive. I personally like to be with more that one Dom. However, I am also collared to my Master. I make certain He knows what my desires are at all times. I am very loyal to Him and if He so wishes, He will permit me to be with another Dom that He approves of. I would never go behind His back.

That is loyalty in the D/s way. It is not necessarily talking about fooling around outside the relationship for D/s thrives off of understanding yourself. And, if you require being with other Dom/mes or subs to understand who you are, then according to D/s, that is perfectly fine.

However, the loyalty in D/s insists that you Always let the submissive and/or Dom/me know what is going on. Keep NO secrets from each other else this pillar will fall and eventually so will the pillar of Trust and finally Respect.

~~Love~~

Once you have respect, trust and loyalty, then comes love. This just falls into place naturally. The love becomes very deep and passionate to the point that you feel you cannot live without your partner. You yearn for each other every day and want to be with each other and please each other. The submissive wants to please his/her Dom/me and the Dom/me wants to give the very best He/She can for their angelic sub. This is where some have actually felt that their partner was their soul mate or D/s soul partner. Love in the D/s relationship is far more powerful than that of vanilla. You would do anything for the other. There is a true undying devotion. And, when a collaring ceremony is performed, it is like a true wedding, but deeper, D/s style.

~~Obedience~-

And finally comes Obedience within D/s. Most feel that this is merely for the submissive. However, this is not entirely true. The Dom/me must be obedient in their own way to their submissive and not abuse them, remain in control of themselves, the situation and the sub. If a Dom/me loses control at any point, they lose the obedience of the sub. Therefore, the Dom/me must remain obedient in their own manners.

The submissive, is fully obedient to the Dom/me in that once you reach the love part of D/s the obedience then falls into place. When a person has so much love for another, they just want to do everything they can to please them and make them happy. It is human nature. Within D/s it is just shown in a deeper way through bondage, control, serving, passion etc.

These are the 5 pillars of D/s. They are the foundations, the heart of D/s.

Training a slave for service either to another, or to yourself, is broken up almost into three different parts, each of these areas important as its counterpart. However, throughout training each of these areas are connected in some form. It is important to understand, as a Trainer, and as a slave in training, the connections between these parts. As you go through these various techniques, you will be hitting on each of these areas. If you only focus on one aspect, or one part of the trilogy at the time, you will not be building a slave, you will only end up building a BDSM play partner. The following is a list of the three parts of training, The “MIND”, the “BODY”, and the Spirit.

— The Mind —

It is written that the biggest sexual organ in the body is in fact the brain, or the mind as some put it. Specially if this training is happening in a “online” environment which allot of people nowadays use to begin or start a relationship. The physical will always be there, but the mind plays a bigger part in these relationships. The beginning stages of training focus primarily on the mind, while they incorporate techniques which are of the physical nature, such as kneeling and sexual service, As a Master and Trainer, you must be able to search deep into the mind of the slave, and see what is in there. Many fear venturing into such places, however it is a great importance, specially if the relationship you seek with said girl, is meant to be a life-long one. Even thought, ultimately it is your needs which are to be fed, you must still as a Master, dig deep inside her, and find out what needs inside her must be fed and figure out the best way to feed those needs without compromising your own, and then train her psychologically as well as physically. Through understanding, and the feeling of the mental aspects, your slave begins to build probably the two hardest pillars to fulfill, trust and loyalty.

— The Body —

As a Master, we become responsible for allot of the slave’s needs. Understanding him/her psychologically, also helps us to determine her physical needs, and assist with combining her needs along with yours. Training her body creates in her the constant feeling of being Someone’s property. He/She is reminded that her movements are monitored, her physical needs are met at your discretion, and his/her form is used for practical as well as pleasurable purposes. The body of a submissive is a collection of complicated nerves, and other delicate things. It is like the top of a rose, very delicate and very fragile, but at the same time, beautiful and soft. Our tasks and job as Master is to tend to it, to allow it to grow, and rise up to take in the sun.

— The Spirit —

Inside each of us, stands a very powerful presence. Inside our spirit, is where our feelings and emotions come from. Training the spirit, is just as important as training the mind and the body, each working in a trilogy, which together, brings out true slavery, and true Mastery. The spirit of the slave is what drives the intensity of her desire to serve and please, her drive to bring herself/himself deep within the role, and yours as well. The “spirit” of the slave often develops naturally within her, and in order to train the “spirit”, we must develop and train and teach the slave how to deal with issues and things about it. The spirit is also the focal point for the next two and last pillars of the five pillars of D/s, love and obedience. From the spirit it is believed is where “love”, comes from. It is like a wave which surrounds us, calling to us. It drives our emotions, our passions. I truly believe that in training, not just the slave’s spirit grows, but also the Master’s as well.

And there you have it, The trilogy of slavery.

The Mind, The Body, and The Spirit.

Before you begin the training, you must understand what actually you are training. You need to setup and understand the goals in which you wish to achieve, and if you are training the girl for yourself, what exactly do you want in the relationship. As a Master and Trainer, this is a essential part for yourself to understand. The girl is going to be relying on you deeply, so you need to understand what forth you need. In a relationship, either training or a long-term relationship, it is very important to understand one another and to be clear about what each other’s expectations are. The decision to train, and the decision to form a binding contract between the two of you should wait until both of you have agreed about your goals four yourselves, and the expectations of one another.

D/s is a very serious business, One which should not be taken lightly.

The first step in the beginning of any relationship, is communication, but equally important is the formation of idea of what the relationship between the two people is all about. Both the Master and submissive must ask themselves, “What do I want to get from this relationship” You might want to compose a list of questions to ask each other, to get a better understand and idea on exactly what it is that you want, and what exactly does she want. Understanding these key points is critical to both a long-term relationship, and a training relationship. Once this is done, compare the answers together. When you are at disagreement about a particular area, discussion called for. Understand that in some cases, both of you will have to compromise in some form. Compromising is not weak, and should never be seen as negative. Allot of Masters out there are afraid to compromise, but in a normal “true” relationship, it will happen. Compromising is a form of understanding the girls needs and wants, which are key elements to a true and caring Master.

However, do not allow yourself, as the Master to “barter” with the slave to the point that the submissive’s authority ranks over your own. You must remain in control here, as the Master. You must remember that you truly do have the final decision on everything. At this point, you should already have gotten the basic’s of forming a relationship done, have gone through the position of building the pillars for the relationship to make it strong. You should know each other quite well at this point, so well that in fact, you may have to order your new slave-to-be or slave in training to provide you with honest answers, and not just answers you want to hear. Make sure that what he/she tells you is in fact the truth, and not what you want it to be. This is very vital and important at this point in time and from now on. You two must be able to communicate properly together, for that is the most vital part to training. If this is not able to be done, then there will be huge hurdles down the road.

General questions to answer to yourselves and discuss

• What do I want from this relationship for myself?
• What do I want from this relationship for my partner?
• What am I ethically/morally incapable of doing to achieve these goals?
• What are 3 things I find especially good about our relationship right now?
• What are 3 things which I would like to improve about our relationship in training?
• What areas does the slave which to deal with in training?
• What areas does the Dominant which to deal with in training? These can also be things about himself/herself.
• How will the relationship improve as a result of training?
• What do I think the most challenging areas of training will be for me? for your partner?
• Should training have a time limit, or should it be ongoing?
• What step can I work towards in the relationship? What things can I do to make the relationship better?
• After comparing questions to answer to yourselves and discuss

After comparing the answers, discuss them until you can come up with a mutual satisfactory answer for each question, then move on to the more specific questions.

Rate the following in importance from one to ten. (one being the most important)
What are the most important qualities in a Master?

• Patience
• Understanding & Communication Skills
• Love
• Control & Authority
• Compassion
• Caring
• Protection & Attention to Safety
• Trust
• Loyalty
• Respect
• Consistency
• Sexual Skills
• Decision Making Skills
• Sense of Humor
• Positive Self Esteem
• Honesty

Traits & Qualities of a Master

Patience

A True Dominant must have patience to listen and understand a sub’s feelings and views. He/She must have patience in order to use bondage and control with the sub. Should a Dominant lack any patience at all, a bondage session could go wrong and someone could get hurt. A Dominant must Especially, use patience when disciplining or punishing the sub.

Understand & Communication Skills

A True Dominant may not always agree with a submissive, but He/She will always understand, even just a little. There is always that communication there keeping the understanding ongoing.

Love

A True Dominant will hold a deep love for His/Her submissive at all times. It can even hurt the Dominant to punish and discipline the sub due to the love that is there and not wanting to see the sub hurting. That love is never ending, unbreakable by all things, including society.

Control & Authority

A True Dominant of course must have control. That control is pure. A Dominant does not think they control a sub just because they can. Instead, they control the sub out of love, caring and compassion. They use that control to help the submissive to become a better person, to keep the sub in line, and because the sub enjoys being controlled.

Compassion

A True Dominant will always have compassion for a submissive. Perhaps You do not know the sub personally, but because You are the Dominant and he/she is the sub, some form of compassion still exists. As for Your own sub, a deeper compassion lies within You.

Caring

A True Dominant cares for all submissives, but most especially His/Her own. He/She will do anything for the submissive to keep him/her happy and comfortable. The submissive is like a pet to the Dominant. He/She feels obligated to take very good care of the sub because He/She loves His/Her pet.

Protection & Attention to Safety

A True Dominant will also have a sense of protection for His/Her sub. He/She will go great lengths to keep the submissive safe and secure. Some Dominants will even give up Their families for a sub. Though that may seem like a lot to give up, just remember, this is not “vanilla”, this is D/s. He/She will also go at great lengths to protect the submissive, also means to keep him/her safe. It means to follow the limits set and make sure no unneeded harm comes to the person.

Trust

A True Dominant will always trust the sub to do the right thing without having to constantly command the sub. If a submissive comes across another Dominant, the True Dominant must trust the sub to do the right thing. Of course, the sub should do the right thing and return to his/her Dominant right away.

Loyalty

A True Dominant has a great deal of loyalty towards His/Her submissive. He/She has a difficult time playing with other submissives even at times. Though that does tend to sound somewhat “vanilla,” some Dominants believe in even having only one slave/submissive. Their loyalty to Their sub is so great they will never forsake the sub in any way

Respect

A True Dominant has a great deal of respect not just towards the gift which the submissive gives Him/Her, but whom the submissive is. Respect comes with respecting the person’s humanity, respecting the person’s way of life. This is no different then the respect achieved when building the great five pillars of the relationship.

Consistency

A True Dominant will remain consistent in his ways. He/She will not change things all of the time, all over again. They will keep things very same, as if they continue to change things all the time, the submissive will become confused and not know what is what, or what to do. The dominant must remain consistent in his/her actions, her ways, and how he/she treats the submissive. This is vital specially in training so the submissive can learn properly what to do. Now as a relationship always changes, so does needs and sometimes desires, so there will be times during the relationship where things do change slightly, depending on what the requirements of the relationships are, however the dominant will still maintain some form of consistency in what He/She does.

Sexual Skills

These traits and qualities pertain to the abilities of the dominant to please the submissive and the ability to give what the submissive requires. D/s is a very sexual lifestyle, and in such, the slave is there mostly to please the Master/Mistress, however the slave must receive some pleasure back. Just ordering the girl around, and not showing her any compassion or love, will find yourself with major issues in the relationship. Remember, this is a relationship, and feelings do get involved.

Decision Making Skills

This ability and quality is a very strong and hard one to master, the ability to make a decision. There will be allot of times when you are drawn to making a decision about the submissive’s life. If you are not capable of being able to decide what to do, then there will become times where the submissive will question your strength. You must be able to make good decision and wise one, in the goodness of the submissive, and not based on faulty thoughts. Remember this is a person’s life you now hold in your hand, make sure you do not abuse it. It is ok sometimes to ask the submissive what he/she thinks, however doing so all the time, will lead the submissive to feeling like she is just Mastering herself. Asking the submissive how he/she feels about something is not always a bad thing however use it wisely, and remember ultimately the final decision is yours.

Sense of Humor

I have placed this in here as a trait, because I feel that at times, there will be times when you will need to spend time with the submissive in a vanilla atmosphere. This trait might be important to some as it leads to good communication skills, and the ability to spend time with each other outside of the D/s environment, which I feel is a healthy importance to relationships.

Positive Self Esteem

The ability to feel good about yourself leads to strength and control of your own feelings and emotions. If you are depressed about yourself, and do not feel good about yourself, other qualities and traits will fall along with this. I feel this is a highly strong point, and quality trait but to some it may not be as important.

Honesty

The ability to tell the truth is not only part of the pillars of D/s but also the most important trait there is. If your not able to tell the truth to the submissive, you have no reason to be with her.

What are the most important qualities in a submissive?

• Honesty
• Loyalty
• Sexual Skill
• Desire to please
• Communication Skills & Understanding
• Sense of Humor
• Caring
• Trust in Master
• Ability to Follow Rules
• Obedience
• Positive Self Image
• Love

Traits & Qualities of a submissive

Honesty

Honesty is a very important trait for a submissive. We as Dominants cannot see into your mind with a crystal ball. There is no such thing for us. We must be able to honesty be able to see what is inside your head, know your thoughts, know your feelings, and understand them to properly Master you. If we cannot see such things, then we will not know what is going on inside your head. If there is something bothering you, then you must honestly be able to tell us. Just as Honesty is important to a Master, such is it for the slave

Loyalty

This goes the same for the submissive in the regards as it does for the Dominant. Especially in Long Distance Relationships, where you are not physically there with the sub, We as dominants take your honest word of your loyalty. It is very hard to go behind someone’s back, specially when they cannot see, however it ruins the entire aspect of training. The dominant trusts you with apart of His/Her life, and in such, He/She expects you to remain loyal to the relationship.

Sexual Service

Sexual Service is the ability to please the Dominant, and tend to his needs and desires. Each person is different, and thus each Dominant will have different needs. The sexual aspect does play a role within Mastery and Slavery, and a very large role at that. Sexual Service does not just always mean intercourse either, it could mean just pleasure, even giving a back rub could be considered sexual service.

Desire to please

The desire to please is a deep feeling which each submissive has within themselves, to please their owner. This does not mean sexually either, which falls under the previous trait, however to please them in what you do, how you act, what you say. The trait to be “pleasing” is important because it is the groundwork for your servitude to your Owner.

Communication Skills & Understanding

The ability to communicate goes along with being able to be honest and loyal in a relationship. The submissive will in time will not agree with the Dominant’s position, but must understand that He/She is doing their best to make the proper decisions, which comes along with trust. The submissive must be able to communicate properly to the Dominant, his/her feelings so the Dominant knows what is going inside their head.

Sense of Humor

Just like any relationship, Sense of Humor is important because there will be times where the two of you will be together. A Sense of humor brings self esteem and self confidence, and interest to the relationship, and is a very important aspect in D/s

Caring

Apart of the submissive’s position is to take care of the Dominant, just like it is His/Her job to take care of her/him. The submissive will do anything which he/she can to make the Dominant happy. The submissive feels obligated to to take very good of the Dominant because They are his/her owner. The ability to be caring comes into the picture. It is also important for the submissive to care for him or herself. They can care for themselves, by keeping themselves clean, well tended to, and prepared mentally and physically and spiritually to serve their Owner.

Trust

A True submissive will always trust the Dominant to do the right thing. If a submissive comes across another Dominant, the True Dominant must trust the sub to do the right thing. Of course, the sub should do the right thing and return to his/her Dominant right away.

Ability to Follow Rules

No matter what form of a relationship which you are in, there will always be some sort of rules which you must adhere by. These rules set the guidelines for what is excepted within the relationship, and what is not. They set the road in which you as a submissive will follow. They are the driving factor for a Dominant to be able to control another person.

Obedience

The trait of being obedient, means just as it states. To follow the Master or Mistress’s footsteps, allow them to lead you, allow them to take your hand and walk you down the journey with them. To follow them, to understand them, to be just about all of these traits with them. To not disobey their lead, or cause intentional trouble during the relationship. There is always a difference between testing the lines, and outright disobedience, so remember that.

Positive Self Esteem

Positive self esteem is what you feel about yourself, and how you feel about yourself. It is the ability to look into the mirror and say you are a good person. We all have different looks, and sometimes they are not important, but it is always important to see what is in the inside of yourself, and what you are made out of. A positive self esteem brings happiness, the ability to serve, and the ability to be good about yourself, another important trait for a submissive.

Love

Finally, the last trait is “love”. Love is the ability to open up your heart and your mind to your Owner. It is the ability to break down those walls, trust them, respect them, be honest to them, and be obedient to them. It is the ability to shine, show your true feelings and emotions to them, allowing them to harness them and bring them out of you, so you two may shine with them. That is the trait of love.

The next thing which you should do after preparing these figures, you should also take a moment to rate these as you see your partner doing so. Your ratings will not always match up, but it gives you the groundwork for which you can discuss things, and will bring each of you together. Remember, that in time, things can be overcome. Physical attributes can always change, and will always change. Be respectful to not just yourself, but your partner, and remember to talk about things. find him/her to be a true and total servant to you.

A sample training contract is a consensual agreement between a   Dominant and a submissive that specifies the roles, rights, and  responsibilities of the people involved. You must understand that a contract is not a legal binding piece of paper by government standards, it is more or less, a document to solidify the points of  agreement between yourself and your partner. It provides sense of awareness of the importance of the commitment, not just for the Dominant but also for the submissive as well.

The contract itself, should not be lengthy. You should keep it short and general as much as possible, and straight to the point. There  should be plenty of leverage within it to account for unforeseen events or problems which may occur in every relationship, and matter. The wording should be well chosen. It does not have to be fancy  looking or “built up” which can make the document confusing to read.It should be very straight to the point, and written clearly so it is easily understood. Try not to use fancy words, or things which do not  make any general sense, requiring many times to look over. This contract must be something which can be stuck in both of you. It doesn’t have to be memorized, but there should always be a general  understanding over it. The submissive must understand the contract.

The contract should not include rules of behavior, except in a  “general” sense. It should not be detailed to the point where it is ninety pages long. The more complicated it is, the easier it will be  to “break” the contract, and once it is broken it becomes nothing more  then a worthless piece of paper. it should not include anything like,  mode of dress, rules, sexuality details, hygiene, or anything inviting  to actually “break” the contract. Again, it needs to be short, simple  and to the point, remember this.

 You both must be able to agree with the contract and what has been  proposed. You both should be free to discuss issues and concerns  within the contract, be able to go over points, ask questions and make  suggestions. As the Dominant or Trainer, it is up to you to compose the initial document and terms of the agreement, and put them out on  the table to be discussed. You have the option of being inflexible  with certain aspects, but if you are inflexible with things, be prepared to handle and deal with rejection. You as the Dominant must take the hit for such if the contract is indeed rejected. You must  insure emotional safety of the trainee and be able to accept its  rejection without consequence to the slave. Remember to listen to your  partner, for they may have a valuable opinion on certain things, and understand certain things. Remember, communication is a important  aspect to the relationship. When discussing the contract, do so in a non-threatening, comfortable venue. The submissive should be able to express his/her feelings freely. Remember, that when a submissive/slave accepts a contract of this caliber, they are making a choice which has potential effect and impact on the rest of their life.

The actual signing of the contract is up to you. There are various ways in which you can go about such. Some people make a formal presentation when signing the contract in front of a witness, as any contract is usually signed. Some people do such during the actual collaring of the slave. Some do such during a marriage type proceedings. Dress, actions, and the way the situation is handled, is totally up to you as the Dominant.

One formal way of tending to the signing of the contract is to have the slave kneeling in a chosen position by yourself, wearing nothing,  stating her desire and wish to enter the training and ask your permission to do so. One granted, both parties, starting with the  dominant, should read the contract out loud. Once the contract has  been read, it should be asked upon the submissive, if he/she  understands the terms of the contract, and agrees to them. Upon her  agreement and acceptance of the terms, both of the parties should then  sign the contract. Then the collar of training is presented and placed  upon the girl, which will be worn till she has completed the training program. At this moment in time, the contract begins the period of training for the submissive. The Trainer/Dominant should be the one whom which holds the document, and such should be viewable by the submissive at the appropriate time with a appropriate request. An inappropriate time, would be during punishment, or when the submissive is being corrected. These moments, the submissive may use the contract  as a tool in which to get out of something, and such should never be given to him/her. The submissive/slave will make mistakes from time to time, but if the general terms of the contract are not upheld, she/he should understand that the contract cannot just be completely torn up and stopped. The contract pledges servitude to you for a certain period of time, and it must be clear, that he/she will be required and made to continue their obligations to the end.

If the slave/submissive fails to adhere to the principles of the contract and cause it to become null and void through dismissal of the principles of the contract, the training should then stop immediately, and the submissive/slave should understand, that there might not be another opportunity to be trained by you. You must be firm in this and prepared to follow through should the slave choose to break the contract. Circumstances that would allow the submissive/slave a second  chance, are extremely rare, or nonexistent. This contract is a very important aspect of the training program, and is something which should not be taken lightly.

 This should also be understood for the Dominant/Owner as well. If You are incapable of holding your end of the contract, such as if your training becomes sporadic, guidance is not available, the submissive/slave will most likely not presume a relationship after the contracted time with you. The ability to trust or respect will then so forth be broken, and you will make little to no progress during the training period. It is absolutely essential that you prove yourself trustworthy and consider yourself bound by the terms oft he signed  contract. If for any reason, you feel you cannot pledge as much as the submissive is, then do not use a contract.

If you feel you cannot reasonably uphold the principles of the Master/slave relationship to the point where you feel uncomfortable signing a contract, you should reconsider your desire to own a slave. With or without a contract, your responsibility remains the same.

The first step into the training program is to get a understanding for your slave, and get a glance into his/her head. This is one of the most important steps in the training process, and step in controlling him/her. In the first stage of training, you must create a environment of “revelation and disclose”, in which your slave is not only allowed, but is also required to reveal her inner self to you, her thoughts, her feelings, her insights, her desires, and anything else which you may find out is per tent to know about your slave. In this section of training, you must fulfill the position of a counselor, and good listener, encouraging her to open up to you, drawing open doors in her mind, bringing down walls inside her, which she may never, even with her own self, explored before. It is through this kind of talking and communicating, that you will be able to get a bigger picture of whom your slave is, be able to understand her more, as a slave, and as a human being, and understand why your slave has the need to serve, and what is the best way to fulfill such. This is also the best way to find out which tools or actions she will need to be able to fulfill such a role. It is a good way to decide what levels of training which you wish to enroll with her, how much to push, and what to push.

In this position, you will need to know how to ask the right questions, what information to probe for, and how to probe for it. You will need to know how to get inside his/her head, because that is mostly where we will wield our control, which is inside her head. This procedure will not happen overnight. it will take a few days for the slave to become acquainted with you, and comfortable. This task should be done perhaps a bit each day. This will only be able to be determined on the first day of starting, to see how much she/he is willing to open up. Do not force him/her into a position which he/she begins to feel uncomfortable. This will only cause the girl/boy to tighten up their walls, and you will never get in. Remember the key word here is “balance”.

It is important to make the slave understand that nothing can be hidden from you, and that this stage is essential to the training. Unlike the slave, you are not required to lay down your thoughts on things before his/hers, or to give him/her any thought that you have any reason or indication that you will do so. it is inadvisable to interject your own thoughts and feelings during these times and sessions. The point is for the slave to begin the process of disclosure, and do so with the realization that he/she is obligated to do nothing less. There will be times when you can open your heart to your slave, but this is not the right moment.

Remember also, to make the slave feel comfortable, so they can open their heart to you. Do not start drilling them with a billion questions, or putting them on trial. You shouldn’t judge them at this point, only allowing them to talk and open up their heart and mind to you. Do not judge him/her for their past, experiences, feelings, or fantasies unless your expression is one in the positive. Your goal is to open him/her up to you. If you give any negative reaction, it will only cause them to close up more, and the exact opposite with what you want will happen. Be careful of your bodily expressions, specially those of your facial ones. Those showing bordem will show lack of interest, those showing shock. disbelief, humor, or any other distaste to register, will only do as stated, cause the person to clam up even more, and it shows lack of strength and composure on your part.

I have been a psychologist in training and schooling for quite some time. There are some great books on techniques such as this, and its advised for new Trainers to read up on it. This is not a easy task which to take in. The slightest mistake can set you back for a very long time. Remember this carefully.

Some basic guidelines to help with this disclosure process:

• Firstly, eliminate distractions such as the television, music, phones, computers, even the outside. The room should be as peaceful and quiet as you can make it, to give a feeling of peace, and allow you to focus totally on the slave. There should be nothing that distracts both you or herself/himself.
• The slave should be facing you kneeling, and in a relaxed position. Not held up tight or bent into a weird kneeling position.
• Do not allow the slave any clothing as clothing can sometimes become a “barrier”, and your purpose here is to break down barriers between you and him/her.
• Encourage the slave to speak freely to you. You may consider dropping the use of the title to help the flow of her thoughts come about. Again, your trying to make the girl relax, so she can virtually tell you her “life story”

Some things which you should keep in mind

• Observe the slave’s reactions, not just verbal ones, but also physical reactions. Does he/she seem unhappy, uncomfortable, Depressed. Does the slave shrug, look down and frown, close their eyes, move their eyes around trying to look at other thing to distract themselves. These are all signs of things which you need to dig a bit more to find out about.
• Keep the slave talking, but direct the focus of the conversation towards ideas, incidents and memories that might directly relate him/her to their need or desire of slavery. Ask questions that forces the slave to look deep down inside her heart, to examine her feelings, her emotions, and her fears. Help her discover and learn about why these feelings exist inside of her. However, keep her moving along as well. She will be telling you a great deal, but you do not need to know unnecessary information. What is necessary and unnecessary is totally up to you however.
• Retain and use the information which you find out. You may find out about fantasies, you may find out about past history, abuse which may lead to certain disciplines being not so good with her. You may find out about things she has dreamed about and understood.

The things which you achieve from this talk with be very valuable information. They will be the keys to the slave’s inner self, her mind. You will form a connection with the slave, which is not easily broken. You will get to know him/her. This concept of disclosure will promote a psychological dependency with you. He/She will have such a tight bond towards you, a physical and mental bond, which will allow him/her to be a true and total servant to you.

The journal is the next step in slave training. The journal is also apart of the disclosure process. The English definition for “a journal” is a daily record of happenings, a diary of sorts, or a ship’s logbook. This is exactly what the journal is. It is a daily record of the slave’s training, a diary of his/her life, and a logbook of the journey which he or she takes within the training.

The training journal is the journal in which we will discuss here, but the same concepts can be used when the slave has completed training. This is a discipline which should be kept up and maintained. I myself find the journal a very important aspect for the slave. It is a place where they can voice their feelings, their thoughts, their opinions. It is a safe haven for them to speak their minds. When you allow a journal, you should instruct the slave, that they can write whatever they feel like. You should not punish them for what is written in the journal because it is for them. If you discipline them for something written there, then they will not feel the freedom which they have in writing there. It is specifically for them, a safe haven for them to voice their true feelings. You should however read it on a daily basis, as it is a good way for you to also get within their mind, and see what they speak of.

The following is what should be kept in the training journal:

• A daily record of the day’s happenings.
• Any new instructions or rules which have been added
• A detailed account of feelings, reactions, thoughts, fears, desires, questions act.
• Anything which is too hard to speak verbally to the trainer
• Detail account of scenes tended to

Detailed account of punishments given, thoughts on said punishments, and the ways which are going to be done to correct the unwanted behavior.

A slave should make a entry in their journal before bedtime each night. In the morning they should then re-read the previous night’s entry and make any comments which the slave felt were important to make. Nothing should be removed from the journal or erased, but only added. As the mind rests, sometimes new thoughts arise within the mind of the slave.

The input from a slave is crucial to a good trainer/Dominant. They must be aware of the slave’s true feelings. They must be able to see within the head of that submissive, and understand what is going on in there. You as a trainer, must understand the nature of submission. It is often very difficult for them to voice their concerns, disappointments, fears and hurts directly to the person. Very often they will say what they think the Dominant wants them to say, only to be found pleasing. it is much easier for them to write it down on paper, or record it in a journal while they are alone, and not underneath the eyes of their overseer.

Remember, that the journal should not replace the open communication between a Dominant and the submissive. if you find your trainee writing more in their journal then telling you face to face, there is a serious problem in communication between the two of you, and you might way to take a step back to figure out what that problem is. It should only be used as a tool to build trust and skills in voicing the feelings a submissive has written about. When the slave makes a entry, you should always take time to talk about what was written in that entry. You as a trainer, should encourage the slave to open up his/her feelings and share them. Once the slave feels that the trainer is not going to get angry or disappointed, it will get easier to talk bout things, then writing them.

The journal is also a benefit for the slave in training. It allows them to go back and see how their training is changing them, or molding them. It allows them to see how much they have grown. The journal is also a good way to make sure there is no misunderstandings, specially with rules and instructions. Recording them and then having them gone over, is a good way for the trainer to make sure they were understood clearly and precisely.

The following are guidelines and techniques for establishing control within the submissive’s lives. When you have a submissive/slave in training, they must be able to feel the control of the Dominant or Owner, just about in every aspect of their lives. The best way to begin control of the mind, the body, and the spirit, is through the use of restrictions. Once the slave understands that her freedom is no longer her own, and is being denied to her, she understands the scope of her commitment. Remember that as everything is with D/s, you must find a balance between building a trusting relationship and limiting freedom. It is very easy for the submissive to feel like a “prisoner” mores then a slave when she is overwhelmed. This is a very intricate process to controlling a slave, and must be taken very carefully. You must understand the psychological impacts to the restrictions which you place upon your trainee.

Restricting the slave’s sexuality

One aspect of restriction is to restrict the slave’s sexuality. This brings her to believe and feel that her sexual pleasures now rely upon you. That you control what she receives, and how she receives it. The following are a few pointers concerning sexual restrictions.

• The slave must no longer have the right to say “no” to any sexual demand or request made by you.
• The slave should not be allowed to touch herself/himself in a sexual manner without an order from you.
• The slave should be denied orgasms unless you demand such of him/her
• The slave should be taught to ask permission for any orgasms and even beg for release. Orgasms without permission should be punished. UNDERSTAND: In the Gorean environment, asking for release was not written in the books. You should take this into consideration if you are seeking a Gorean relationship. They frowned upon such.

Restrictions of a slave’s privacy

• Call for “inspections” of the slave’s body. Call for such when it is least expected.Inspect a slave after a shower, whether it be needed or not. An inspection for cleanliness after the slave uses the bathroom is extremely humiliating, but powerful reminder that he/she has given up all aspects of control and rights to the most private aspects of her life. Don’t inspect the genital areas specifically. Give attention to the slave’s hair, teeth, gums, nails, act. This reminds her that all aspects of her body are now under your control and cannot be shielded by false modesty.
• Allow the slave to keep nothing secret.However, you should not monitor a slave’s phone calls and phone use. You should not infringe on the slave’s right of privacy as this can be considered “illegal” by many country based laws. It is best just to disallow phone calls all together, if you wish to control this aspect. Another thing is not to open a slave’s mail. Allow her to open her own mail and turn it over to you if that is your agreement. If your slave refuses to do so, then find out why.
• The slave should not spend time on the computer alone, or without your expressed knowledge. The slave should also not have anything pass worded which you cannot get into. Any chats or postings should be saved and reviewed by you.
• The slave should not be able to close doors behind them.
• The slave must feel your presence during the most intimate times.
• Do not allow the slave to be evasive in conversations with you. Encourage him/her to examine her thoughts and feelings and reveal them to you.

Restrictions of a slave’s time

• Once a slave’s training has begun, the slave must realize that his/her time is no longer belonging to them. The slave now operates on your schedule, and your schedule alone, does what you wish of him/her.In the first few months of training, a slave should be denied free time to himself/herself to drive home the feeling of slavery, as well as to focus totally on his/her training, and not allow other activities to distract such. The slave’s day and night should be filled of activities in which you designate. You should be very detailed, but generally, the slave should tend matters of housekeeping, cleaning, personal care for her Owner/Dominant, then himself/herself, and most importantly practicing, journaling, or anything else you may find fit to assign to them.
• Disallow the slave use of the television, phone, computer, or other electronic devices and games during the first few months of her training. This should be seen as a reward for good behavior, as any other privilege would be, and made available in small doses to increase the slave’s appreciation, acceptance, and understanding or rewards.
• When a slave has nothing else to do, they should be placed in a position of attendance at your feet, to be called upon. This could be a slave mat, directly at your feet, or in a room till they are needed.
• The slave should be given a time to rise each morning, and a time to go to bed each night. These times do not need to be set with yours. The slave should usually rise before the Dominant/Owner so he/she can do morning rituals to prepare for His/Her waking.
• The slave should have a balanced diet, however should have set times in which he/she is allowed to eat.
• The slave should be restricted on how many times they are permitted to go to the restroom during the day.

Restriction of a slave’s environment

A slave which is currently under training should contain some environment restrictions. When used sensibly and properly, can open up the concept of full time serving. Please note, that “sensible” and “proper” being the key words here. Keeping a woman locked up in a dungeon, sitting in a cage, totally at your mercy is not only unreal, but immoral in the same. We must understand once again the psychological ramifications for doing what we are doing.

• Restrict the slave to the house, only allowing them outside of the house to tend with their job or schooling. The slave should not be let outside of the house without your knowledge or presence. This should only be done for a few weeks, and then some outside time should be given for the sanity of the slave.
• Initially all excursions into the outside world, should be done at your digression, and have purposes that relate directly to her place as a slave. These purposes could be running errands, grocery shopping, washing the car, cutting the lawn, tending to the garden, and other things such as this. The slave should be given just enough time to complete these tasks, and told to return home after such. The “initial” trips should be issued as rewards for good behavior, even though the slave’s time is spend in service. If a slave misbehaves or spends more time then is allowed, such should be met with harsh punishment, and removal of such rights, to understand once again that a slave’s time is not his/her own.
• The slave should be restricted to the house. They should not be allowed to enter certain areas, such as your bed chambers, your study, office area, or other places which are personal to you. This could even be a closet, or chest, or drawers where your personal belongings are held. You might restrict the slave to a specific room, or a group of rooms, or part of the house during the first few days/weeks of his/her training. Those rooms should be the ones which is required to tend his/her tasks such as the kitchen, bathroom, and sleeping quarters. If your home is small, you may consider restricting him/her to a piece of furniture, or chained to a pipe, seeing that the slave is confined to a small space, and not free to roam.

After the training program has done with and completed, the slave should still maintain some restrictions. She may be restricted from using furniture, sitting, sleeping in the Dominant’s/Owner’s bed, doing things without permission. This is a maintenance technique which helps to continually reinforce the slave’s placement and status in the relationship.

• Restraining the slave for long periods of time and leaving him/her alone or “caging” him/her for long periods of time is not recommended due to safety reasons, in the initial stages of training. The slave can end up freaking out, specially if the slave has not formed a trusting deep relationship with you yet. It may scare him or her too much. In most cases, Long Term Restrictions are concerned extreme and unhealthy, physically, mentally and psychologically. Here are some pointers and ideas when leaving a slave in long term bondage
• A slave whom is physically bound by rope, chain or anything else, must always have a means to escape such bondage. The reasons for this is, should you become ill, pass out, have a heart attack, or for the worse extreme case die, a fire, or another sort of emergency, the slave should know how to release himself/herself.
• A key could be placed in a envelope within the slave’s reach, if the bounds are locking. Sealing wax, or some other way of sealing the envelope should be used, which could not be replaced, so you as the Dominant/Owner would know if the slave had used such. If opened without a good reason, the slave should be met with strict and harsh punishment.
• Use “quick release” knots when working with ropes. The slave should easily be able to pull upon the ropes to release the bonds.
• If her restrictions take place outside of your eyes, or ears, the slave should be able to quickly release himself/herself, and instructed on methods to do so. A slave should NEVER be left helpless without supervision.
• Do not disregard the possibility of emotional emergencies. Slaves may, specially if this is the first time in long term bondage, become distressed, and begin to panic. Extreme emotional distress is a emergency, and the slave should not be punished for such. Another method of restriction should be found if this happens.
• Finally, restricting a slave’s environment does not mean IGNORING him/her. You MUST check in on him/her from time to time, to reassure yourself and him/her of safety, that you care, and am not just leaving them there

Before you begin to establish a set of rules for the slave, you both should have completed the “Goals” section, and have worked out the set of goals for the relationship. Knowing what you want and expect from them, as slaves, and want and expect from yourself, gives you a better foundation for obtaining it. By having those set of goals already established, the rules will be easy to establish. They aren’t just a set of things to turn the slave on, however, it doesn’t mean sexual stimulation is not part of the training, for it certainly is. After setting your goals, provide the slave with a set of behavioral rules to follow. You should discuss what type of rules the slave will have to follow before they sign the contract, however, they should not be apart of the contract themselves, as the contract is made to be simple, as suggested in the contract section.

Remember to keep rules simple and to start slowly, adding rules as time goes on, and the slave becomes more accustomed to them. Overwhelming the slave will only make them feel frustrated, and will only ask for trouble. Not only is it setting up the groundwork for the slave to fall, but it will also take you a long period of time to enforce those rules, where time is necessary for other things. You yourself need to know the rules inside and out, and if you don’t, then you will just fall flat on your face also. You must know them like the back of your hand, and much better then the slave, for you are the one whom will be enforcing them. If you overwhelm yourself, or have trouble remembering them, there is no way the slave will be able to.

When setting up rules, it is helpful to place the rules in a place where he/she will see them everyday. Post them in the kitchen, or in their sleeping quarters. You should setup a ritual for them to review them each day, to keep them fresh in their minds, so they know them, and know what is expected of them. Posting the rules, like posting the task schedule which will be discussed later on in this training program, provides them with another structure in their life, a aspect of control over them, and a visible reminder of their place.

Suggestions to think about when deciding upon rule.

Sleeping/Waking Rules:

• Does your slave sleep with you in your bed? If so, under what circumstances?
• Do they have a specific bedtime which they are to go to sleep?
• What do you want them to do before bedtime (i.e.: preparing the bed, kneeling)
• Is the slave restricted to the floor, or a pallet, or other bed?
• Do you want to wake them up, or do they need to get up on their own?

Bathing/Showering Rules:

• How often do they bathe/shower and when?
• Do you prefer them to take baths or just shower?
• What requirements do you have for removal of body hair?
• Are there any other cleaning requirements which you require of them? (For example, enemas)
• Do you want to take charge of when they go to the bathroom?
• Are they allowed to close the bathroom door?
• Are body inspections random or happen every time they clean themselves?
• Do slaves attend your bath?
• Are they to be on hand to bathe you?
• Should slaves be dismissed after running the bath and preparing?
• Is having the slave there a invasion of your privacy when taking a bath?
• How personal can they be?

Dressing Rules:

• Is the slave allowed clothing?
• If so what are they expected to wear? at home? at work? outside?
• Is the slave expected to wear make-up?
• Is the slave expected to wear a collar? at what times/all the time? or other jewelry?
• Does the slaver have permission to put on cloths?
• Do they need the Trainer’s approval on what to wear?
• Are they allowed underwear?
• How much responsibility do they have on your dress? cleaning? ironing? folding and storage? mending ect.?
• Is the slave responsible for dressing you?
• Undressing you?
• Polishing footwear?

Eating Rules:

• Does the slave cook?
• Do you require a particular table setting?
• What rules are there pertaining to cleanup?
• Do you expect your meals at a certain time?
• Is there a specific amount of time you wish your slave to eat?
• Do they have a meal plan they must follow?
• Do slaves eat at the table?
• Are they allowed the same food you eat?
• Do you require the slave to be there at your meals?
• Do you allow them to eat with you?
• Does the slave begin to eat before you? or do they have to wait for you to begin?

House Rules:

• Is the slave allowed to sit on furniture?
• Are they allowed in every aspect of the house?
• are they allowed people to visit them? (Family should always be allowed)
• Is the slave allowed access to the stereo, television, computer, books?
• Are viewing/using/listening choices need Trainer’s approval?
• Is the slave to keep up on news? or do you brief them on such?
• Are they expected to be at certain places at certain times?
• Are they to acknowledge your presence in the room somehow? (bow, kneel at your feet ect )
• Is there a place they are allowed to enter without knocking? or asking permission to enter?
• Do they have their own space? If so when can it be used and for what purpose?
• Is the slave allowed to rearrange things? decorate? move things round?.

Misc. Rules:

• Is the slave allowed to masturbate/cum without permission?
• Is the slave expected to behave in a certain manner for their Trainer’s sexual enjoyment?
• What health/exercise rules does the slave have?
• Is there any type of restrictions on the slave’s speech? and When and under what circumstances?
• is the slave allowed money?
• Is the slave allowed a paycheck? if so what is to be done with it?
• Will the slave have a budget? allowance?
• How will slave address and interact with other dominants?
• Is the slave restricted from use?
• How will the slave interact with other slaves?
• What housekeeping duties will the slave have?
• Is the slave required to have a job? what type of job? do they need your approval?
• Is there a safe word? What are the restrictions on using it?
• Is there certain things which happen when the slave is punished?
• Can slaves smoke? drink alcohol/coffee? Will these things be limited?
• Does the slave have to take certain meds? vitamins?
• Will the slave be allowed friends other then yours?
• Rules concerning family contact?

The most important thing to do as a Dominant, is to be specific in your wants and expectations of your slave. You also must be consistent in their enforcement. If you command certain things of your slave, and they do not do as you have told them to do, do not slack off on disciplining them. If your not consistent in your ways, your slave will fail to be able to trust you totally.

By this time in the training, you should have a understanding of what you desire from the slave, and what areas in which you wish to slave to be adapt to. You must be specific in your instructions, clear and to the point when giving them, and consistent when upholding them. Your slave must be always able to feel your strength, however your slave must be knowledgeable of what you desire from him/her, before you begin to show disappointment, or punish him/her. It is not right to just punish a slave for no reason. They must understand what they are being punished for. Punishment is a way to teach them, and will be talked about in more detail in the next following section. Remember to teach him/her what things you require. If the slave does not know how to do something, gently and calmly explain it to them. There are certain tasks which I am sure you will require, and require in a certain way, that they will not know.

Your slave should be taught how to be attentive to your needs, and taught how to anticipate them. This will come in time as the slave gets to know you. You should not expect him/her to get everything right from the get go. Slaves do not have crystal balls in which they can read our mind. You should help them to understand your needs by giving them simple reminders, and help them to become aware of your habits. You should only have to give simple instructions once however. Remember not to overbear the slave, or overload them with things. Allow them time to adapt to your needs. This is not something which is done over night, and if you give them so much information, it will overload your brain, and in the end pull apart the relationship.

Slaves sometimes try to eroticize everything which they do. You must remind them that there are simple tasks which are not erotic, however must be done. Tasks such as housekeeping, may not be erotically stimulating, but it doesn’t stop them from needing to be done. Slavery is not all about sex. There is a deeper aspect to it, and in this type of service, your starting to breach down deeper into the aspects of servitude. Everything should not be sexual. Slaves may have trouble with such, however with time this can be overcome. Remember to be strict and firm, yet gentle and not overbearing.

Remember to make sure your slave is comfortable with asking questions. You should never berate or punish for well made questions. This is a learning process for them, and with such, there will always be questions which are asked. However, the same question should not have to be asked over and over again. Once it is answered, the slave, if he/she is not be overburdened with things, should be able to remember it.

Some guidelines on service

Work

In today’s modern society, it is almost impossible for only one member of the house hold to work. With the economy the way it is, for a couple to survive, at times, it is required for both parties to seek outside work to bring in and supply to the budget of the house. Remember, as Master, you should have some say in what profession your slave seeks work in, and whether or not they do so. It is always your choice. Remember however, if the slave has a full day’s work, to keep such in mind when you are assigning him/her chores and daily tasks within the house. Hiring a housekeeper, or helping out with some of the housework yourself is not always a bad thing. It will only give you more time with them.

Finances

Finances is always the hardest aspect of the relationship in which to control. Your slave should have no control over the finances. That is your responsibility to take care of. However, with such a responsibility, there are certain guidelines which come along with it. Firstly, as a Owner of your new slave, and trainer, you must understand that the slave must have something in which to fall back upon, if the relationship ends for some reason. You should never leave anyone emotionally and financially broken. They are not there for which for you to leach off of also. They should always have some sort of savings, or money set aside for them, if something happens to you or the relationship. A good Master always plans ahead, and has contingency plans setup if something is to happen. Your slave should be made aware of this, and know what money is set away for them, and be able to access if, if the time comes, or a sudden death of yourself happens.

The slave will need a budget in which to tend to the house with. They will need money to buy groceries and laundry supplies, and other things such as this. You should be reasonable in this, but also set forth some guidelines. You should request to see the receipts, to understand what is being spent. Non-essential items should always be requested, and are always subject to your approval. Allow your slave to voice the need for wanting the items you consider non-essential before making a ruling on them. If your slave purchases something without seeking your permission, they should be punished. A good way to do this is to deny her personal allowance for him/herself for a time, if they are given one.

Free time for the slave

You should always give time for the slave for themselves. Training a slave, does not mean removing them of their personalities. Make sure your slave has free time for themselves, and time for self-improvement, such is reading, or classes. Remind your slave however, that free time is a privilege, which can be taken away for discipline reasons.

Dress and a slave’s wardrobe

The best way for a slave to feel helpless, vulnerable, and open is for them to be naked. It is a common practice for slaves to be forbidden clothing when they are in personal service or within the house. This allows them to feel their slavery even more. There are times however when clothing is required, and during such times, you must remain in control in, telling them what they can wear, and what they cannot. You may way to select the outfits which they wear each day when the go out to work. Such is always up to you. Remember that things such as ball gags, and anal plugs, can be placed into their daily wardrobe, to remind them of their place.

Attendance

Your slave should spend as much time in attendance to your personal needs and service, as much as possible. During times of attendance, the slave should be told to kneel in a specific position. The position you choose is up to you. There are various types of positions which we will explain in detail later, under the positions section. The slave should limit their conversation with you, unless given permission to speak freely, and even then, should answer without shifting position.

You should establish certain hand signals or voice commands to alert the slave of certain needs, like if you want a drink, or something to snack on. Your glass should never be empty unless you state such. Allow your slave to move from position without permission when tending basic needs such as that. Asking to get up all the time can become annoying and distracting, specially if your hard at work.

If the slave needs to leave the room, get him/her into the habit of asking permission to do so. If the slave forgets to ask, call them back and insist, or deny him/her the privilege next time.

Slaves will have their own needs, but should have already taken care of such. For example, they should make sure they went to the bathroom, have already been made up and prepared the way you require them, have a glass of water with them for them to drink. Things which they should not bug you about.

Finally at the end of service, if one has been established and set, the slave should always request if there is anything more, before departing from You, and should then ask to be dismissed.

Housekeeping

The first thing which you should do is spend a hour or so walking through the house, and discuss how to tend to the chores of the house. Remember to be specific. Have your slave walk with a notebook to make notes. The list should be setup into three groups, daily chores, weekly chores, and monthly chores. This will be explained more in the next section. Give her the opportunity to ask questions. Remember that just because things are almost second nature to you, doesn’t mean he/she will automatically know them. Something trivial to you, can be very difficult for them to understand.

After the chores are gone through, you should allow your slave to create his/her own schedule, from the list. It is best you let him/her do such, because even though your the Dominant, you should not have to direct every bit of movement from the slave. The slave should be able to tend to certain things on their own, and this is one of them. Slaves do love structure and schedules, and this allows You as the Dominant to fulfill this aspect, without having to drive the burden down upon your back. Once the schedule is completed, you should then take time to review it to make sure that the schedule does not conflict with your own. it is a known fact, that there are times, the slave will try to take on too much and do too many things, overburdening themselves extremely. This is done to try to pleasure and please you the most, and show you how good of a servant they are. You should not allow this to happen. You should control their time, and make sure they do not overdo themselves. if you need to, help the slave work out the schedule, so they will be able to be in attendance to you, during your free time. Your schedule and his/hers should match in some way.

You should spend the time to check the work each day. You should not allow the slave to start cutting corners, and if you find something not done correctly, you should point such out, and the slave should repeat it under your supervision. When the slave becomes familiar with your requirements, You will not have to constantly be checking things. You should however do such randomly and occasionally, going through the house, to point out things which you see, which the slave should correct, and should be punished for such. However, remember not to punish for something he/she didn’t know about.

The art of position training is to teach the slave various positions which are used within the world of slavery. Each position has a different usage, and meaning. There is no pre-set list of positions which are used. Each different lifestyle has their own, and sometimes even each Master or Mistress have their own set of positions. It is what you require of the slave, and what you need done. Some of the reasons for using positions are as follows.

• Used to control the slave, to get their attention.
• Used to press their slavery upon them
• Inspections
• Punishments
• To ease your access to him/her
• To teach the slave to be focused on one thing.
• Helps the slave learn patience and control
• To show them that they are property, and can be put away and not used for a specific timeframe.

Slaves should be taught positions that can be assumed with a word of a phrase. When a slave is ordered to get into a specific position, they should do so quickly, smoothly, gracefully, elegantly and without question or hesitation. When in position, the slave should remain silent, and not move, making every effort to be invisible. While holding a specific position, is not the time to request anything, even to speak. Such should be granted to the slave.

Slaves should exhibit good posture at all times. This allows the back to remain straight, the spine to remain straight, and it draws strength to the muscles of the body. If a slave slumps over, hunches the back, rocks back and forth, fidgets, or displays jittery behavior, this can cause significant damage to the body in a long run. It could pull a muscle, displace a bone, or cause significant dislocation to the spine. One way in which to teach good posture is to have the slave walk in a straight line with a book on their head. Remember not to neglect this, as it also shows the slave has lack of focus on what their doing. You should not let this go so easily.

When in position, the slave should never close the fists, the legs, or the lips, in private or in the real outside world. Teach your slave to keep her lips open. If on the outside world, and the slave has to cross their legs, teach them to do so at the ankles, keeping the legs parted. This will teach them the feeling of being open and vulnerable, that nothing should be hidden from their owner.

Train your slave to move with a dance like step, as it is called. The slave should move with gracefulness and elegance. The slave should work on moving from one position to another, keeping up the same dance like movements. Such should be pleasing to the eyes, and comfortable for the slave to move in. The position should not look rigid, or forced. The muscles should move with ease.

You and your slave should learn the various positions, and practice them by simply calling them out by name. At times of training, let the slave write out or recite the various names of the positions, and what they entitle. The more the positions are done, the better in which they will be learned, and understood.

When slave is placed in a specific position, specially one which ahs the slave standing still, it tends to bring a psychological effect to the slave. For example, standing still will promote a calmness over the slave, a meditative state. Positions like a punishment position, bring about the feeling of disappointment, making the slave focus upon what he/she has done wrong. Placing a slave in a sexual usage position, will make them think about the upcoming usage which they will be used for. It will make their body think about being sexual used, causing the endorphins in the body to fire. Each position when used properly, can cause the slave to psychologically respond.

The following website lists various gorean positions. These were taken from actual D/s positions. the names are made up names within the books, but it is easy to understand what the positions are. Take these and develop your own names for them. There are some non gorean positions which are on this site, and they are listed at the bottom and marked in a blue color.

The sexual relationship between a Dominant and the slave is one of the deepest form you can find. In a healthy Dominant/slave relationship, both parties achieve their satisfaction from each other. Their interaction differs then normal relationship. The slave is to learn that their release is based upon the wishes of You. You now control such as you control every other aspect of their life. Their sexual release is no longer a right, but is a privilege to them. It comes to their benefit but your pleasure. Most times, it is a slave’s highest honor to give pleasure to their Dominant.

Each sexual relationship is different depending on the wants and the needs of the couple involved. Do not expect the slave to turn away from their own need for physical release, however control it. You should not allow yourself to be manipulated by such a need. Give the slave release as generously as the slave’s behavior merits. You should use such as a reward for the slave, teaching the slave that it is given cause You want it to be given, and is not something for which they will be able to demand, no matter how much they beg for it. However there is always a balance. Do not make the slave become frustrated that it begins to hinder the relationship which you two have. Every slave has psychological needs, and part of being a Trainer and a Dominant is to understand these needs.

Due to health conditions, a slave should be allowed to express concerns during such sexual asks, and be allowed to be dismissed from such. Specially during a illness, it can be damaging to the slave’s body to perform under certain circumstances. This is a health risk which should not be taken away from the slave. You both should go through a serious of blood tests before beginning sexual training, to check for sexually transmitted diseases and other forms of diseases which can be transmitted. You both should be willing to disclose such information with each other for health reasons. You should inform the slave that there will be times, that the slave will have to perform sexual acts that might new to the slave, and possibly uncomfortable, but should be reassured that your intent is not to harm her physically. You should avoid things such as rape scenes with slaves whom are not sexual experienced. This type of scene could leave very large psychological ramifications upon the slave.

Although, Sexual Pleasure on demand seems quite natural to a Master/slave relationship, it is nothing more then a fantasy. You should not confuse the word “control” and “force”. You should never violate a slave’s body in any way shape or form. Even if the slave has agreed that he/she may not refuse you, you should always respect the slave’s dignity as a human being, and not force yourself upon him/her. Remember that D/s is safe, sane and consensual. These three highest policies should always be upheld within slavery. Rape is illegal even in D/s.

Every now and then, you may loose your ability to function, due to illness, stress, or other means. You should try to distance yourself from what is happening to you, in order to complete the training. You may loose the ability to get erect, but that is not important in this aspect of the training. You should teach your slave how you want your him/her to use their body, their hands and their mouth. You should teach the slave how to position themselves and how to respond. Some slaves may respond in different ways. Some may be fearful of sexual service. You should take a good look at how the slave responds, verbally and physically as well as emotionally. You should find out how he/she reacts and then work to enhance that reaction.

Some guidelines on sexuality training

• For a male training a female slave, purchase a dildo which approximates the size and shape of your own sexual organ, so that the slave can practice her oral techniques. By watching her do this, you can step back from the situation, issue directions, and teach her how you wish such done.
• You should use the dildo and position it properly the way you wish such to be positioned, so you can teach the slave how which to position yourself when you wish to be pleasured.
• You should teach the slave how to remain focused on you rather then becoming lost in his/her own pleasure. Stimulate the slave if you notice the performance becoming more technical then passionate, and then terminate the stimulation if the passion overrides the technical technique. Remember to teach the slave the balance.
• Assign “homework” for the slave to do and practice. There are various websites and books on various techniques. There are sets of guidelines called the karma-sutra, which are various sexual positions. This is good reading material in which for the slave to read and learn more how which to pleasure and please you. Have the slave do some research, and then demonstrate what it is that they have learned.
• You should not criticize a slave’s performance. You should only critique it. The slave should not be allowed to continue something which is not bringing you pleasure, but if you continue to criticize the slave, the slave will feel that they are not pleasing, and the relationship will be greatly psychologically damaged.

Orgasm with Permission

• The art of orgasming with permission is a basic concept which is fairly easy, and well known through out the world of slavery. It is simply not allowing the slave to orgasm without gaining permission from you. It reminds the slave that their pleasure is only if you wish such. It teaches them that their pleasure and release comes from you. It is something which they cannot demand.
• The art of orgasming with permission is a basic concept which is fairly easy, and well known through out the world of slavery. It is simply not allowing the slave to orgasm without gaining permission from you. It reminds the slave that their pleasure is only if you wish such. It teaches them that their pleasure and release comes from you. It is something which they cannot demand.
• The slave should always ask in a full sentence, and in a voice loud enough to be heard over the various other sounds which are going on. The art of using a full sentence and posing the question reinforces that the pleasure is subjected to the Trainer/Dominants whims. There are some slaves whom which loose the ability to speak during sexual encounters, however a fully focused slave should have no issues with such. If this is just impossible, and for some it might just very well be, you should replace the question with a hand gesture, or movement in which uses the same energy a full sentence would.
• You should not overdo it. There are times when you want to exhaust your slave with orgasms, but the slave should be denied orgasms occasionally, to draw upon the fact that they are given in reward. A sexually stimulated slave is more attentive and a more submissive creature. Teach your slave that arousal does not equal release.
• Remember that at times holding a orgasm can get very painful for the body. It causes muscles to work overtime, and thus can be damaging. There will get to the point where a orgasm will not be able to be withheld back, but with proper training, this can be increased over time. Slaves should be punished for prematurely orgasming, however keep this in mind.
• In the early stages of training, the slave may make mistakes. Devise a method for punishing your slave if the slave releases without proper permission. Corporal punishment does not work for this, so don’t even try it. Spanking your slave during times or arousal will only teach the slave to associate pain with pleasure, and the opposite effect will happen. This is something you may want to teach the slave later on, but this won’t work for this situation. One punishment could be to spend twenty four hours stimulating the slave to the point of orgasm but not allowing the slave release. You could come up with a word which expresses your disappointment in the slave. You should find a punishment which works for the both of you.

Orgasm on Demand

This is a very difficult technique in which to master and takes a lot of time and patience to actually get through. Not all slaves will be able to achieve this rate of training, as some people’s bodies cannot do it, but it is not something in which you should not try either. The art of release on demand is simply as it is stated, to teach the slave how to orgasm out demand. This has to do with teaching the slave how the body actually functions and works when they are orgasming.

• Begin by first training the slave to not release without being granted permission. When you have fully mastered the previously mentioned technique, begin to stimulate her in situations which are not sexual, for example, like driving the car, or just sitting round, during a movie at the theater which is purely action. You should be able to manipulate the slave’s body with your hand until the slave asks to release, and initially all the slave to do so each time.
• After a time, wait several seconds to a minute before giving the slave permission to release. You should continue to stimulate during this time, and then give your permission.
• Once you have done this, deny the slave permission, and then immediately remove your hand away. You then should give the slave permission to release, or deny the slave and continue the stimulation. The sudden removal of your hand and then giving the slave permission, will begin to adapt the slave’s body to orgasm without the stimulation.
• Next issue an order to release immediately after pulling your hand away. At that point, the slave is releasing without direct contact. Lengthen the time between the release, and the removal of the contact.
• Eventually you will be able to issue the order long after the stimulation has stopped. At that point, you may be commanding the slave to release even before any stimulation. If this does not work, repeat the last step and try again. A slave trained to release is able to achieve orgasm anytime and anywhere, and can even be walking down the street and not loose pace during the orgasm.

The final thing to talk about in this training is you should never allow the slave to initiate the sexual contact. This will begin to put them on even footing with you. They will begin to feel that they are in control and it will hinder everything else which you have been working on. You may give them certain things in which they can approach you with such desires. Some things are like placing a ribbon in the hair, or offering a specific piece of fruit. Some people allow the slave a specific position which displays themselves, to demonstrate such a need for such contact, however these techniques always keep you in control. Do not always give into these signs.

You must remember that the slave will become dependant upon you now even for such little things as this. They may seem like big things in the end run but their are not. The need for sexual desire is a strong part of our psychological background. A frustrated slave whom has not had sexual contact for awhile, will begin to have emotional problems. You are responsible for the slave’s well being.

I will say this here and now, that anal training is not for everyone. There are people out there whom are totally against such, and those people whom which find it very arousing. it is up to the Trainer in which if this training is actually performed is not performed. The first thing in which I wish to state is to always BE SAFE and if your going to do this, do it RIGHT. This can be very dangerous if not done properly, and can lead to a lot of internal hazards. The muscles of the anal area can be very stiff. You should never use objects in which are not made for anal play. Using household objects such as food, small animals is dangerous. You should take this training extremely slow, and always exhibit patience. This type of training can be very emotional for a lot of people. Always understand the psychological ramifications of things, and not just the physical ramifications of things. You can easily break a relationship rather quickly if this is not done properly.

If your working with a slave whom which is not familiar with anal play, you should treat this training with emotional caution and compassion. As time goes on, and the slave becomes aware that this will be a component of their life, less caution is required. Anal play can be used as a punishment, for humiliating purposes, or simply as a method of control of the slave.

In the case of anal training, some emotional effects are desirable. It is quite often exhilarating to watch your slave as they beg for this type of use. It can be a power trip for the Dominant, but remember not to over do it, while they feel ashamed of themselves for doing so. Anal training should not be done so regularly that it becomes comfortable for the slave to do during their daily tasks. It is a fine balance, and you must judge for yourself your slave’s mental health and background to a degree before exploring this area of training.

Beginning Stages to Anal Training

The first thing in which to do for anal training is to increase the slave’s exposure. They should learn that this part of the body is not off limits to you at any time. This can be accomplished by a number of ways. Any method which you use should include somehow making the slave focus on what they are doing, and why they are doing it. This is specifically that they are displaying the most private part of their body, and because they must make everything available to the Trainer/Dominant. Instruct the slave to focus on both these things simultaneously.

Some suggestions for a beginning slave:

• Have the slave lay on all fours, drawing their ass a bit high, their knees closed on a raised piece of furniture or a bed. Position yourself so they know you are behind them and that you are looking at them.
• Keep the slave in this position for a period of time. If the slave seems too comfortable with you talking to them like this, remain silent. If the slave is used to you being silent, talk to them.
• At the same point during the slave’s stay in position, they should be commanded to use their hands to spread their ass cheeks apart. Depending upon the slave’s state-of-mind at the act, you can either encourage the slave gently, or insist rougher, as you need a better view.
• Find other opportunities to increase the slave’s exposure to anal training, such as random inspections of such area, watching the slave bathe or remaining with the slave while they use the toilet, adding anal training to punishment or sexual acts. You may want to include the area in the slave’s cleansing rituals.
• The fist act of insertion should be done with a latex gloved, lubricated finger. Even if the slave is familiar with such play, start this way.
• An effective position for this approach is to put the slave over your knee as though you were going to spank the slave.
• Watch the slave’s face for reactions as your examining the slave. Watch to see if the slave is in physical pain, or emotional distress. Watch to see if the discomfort is more then the slave can handle or exactly the way you want such.
• If the humiliating factor is something in which you enjoy, you may suggest that the slave have a enema the next time your going to perform this. Having to actually perform a cleaning ritual on this specific area, will make the slave more aware, and heighten the feelings and emotions of such actions. This should be done whether the slave needs it or not.
• If your goal is to increase the slave’s sexual ability to sexual gratify someone in such a way, hold your finger steady and have the slave clench down upon it, then relax the muscles, or simply encourage the slave until you feel the save relax, while you move your finger in and out.

Using Anal Plugs

You should always have three different sizes of anal plugs, small, medium and large. The size of the plugs should be proportional to the slave, and not generally. What might be large to one slave, may not be large to the other. You should always begin with the smallest size and work your way up.

• The slave should learn to hold the plug in position, and be able to move about without it slipping out. While lubricating is always necessary, to much will make the plug very slippery, and fall out easily.
• If you haven’t set your slave up to fall by being too generous with the lube, the slave should be reprimanded and punished if the plug slips out. Move to the next size, if the muscle weakens and the plug becomes impossible to keep in.
• The slave should be requested to wear the plug for time periods, gradually increasing the periods in which the plug is left in, till you feel the slave has become comfortable with the plug. At this time, move up to the larger size.

Wearing the anal plug will never come comfortable, that the slave will forget the plug is in place. The constant awareness, the feeling of being stretched open in this part of the body, and knowing you are watching the slave as the slave goes about their duties is a effective way to keep the slave in “slave space” and focusing the slave’s attention on the powerlessness of the slave’s position that a attitude of servitude is almost guaranteed.

A slave’s position does not change due to those whom which she is and you are around. She still remains in the status of slavery both in the vanilla and in the D/s world. There are however some differences between the two sections. Due to Society, some aspects of slavery are not always acceptable. For example, it would be illegal in most countries for slaves to walk around naked, so hence in the normal world, they would be confined to being clothed in some form, however such doesn’t mean that it cannot be under your guidance still. The following section describes such aspects of behavior, in both the vanilla and the D/s environment.

Firstly, the term “Vanilla” which means “plain”. It is a term in which we use to describe the normal society, or people whom which are not in the D/s scene, and do not understand it. These are people in which if certain things are done, it may draw questions and not be accepted. Vanilla people are today’s normal society.

No matter where you happen to be, the slave should always remember their place. They should remember that you are their Owner, and they are there to serve you. They should remember that you are responsible for their actions. A slave when taken into training or collared by a Dominant, becomes a “image” of that Dominant. Their behavior, their actions, their speech, their movements, and the way in which they present themselves all become a reflection of you. A slave should always remember their place in the outside world.

No matter where the two of you happen to be, the slave should strive to present him or herself the best way they can. They should stick to your requirements on how they are to dress, what make-up in the case of a female slave, and how to behave. Certain Owners only allow certain types of clothing, usually clothing which shows off the “features” of the slave

In a D/s friendly Environment

A slave should always remember that the slave’s first priority is to your comfort and well being. They are there to serve you no matter where they are. They should always follow a brief behavioral pattern to remind them of their place, specially when they are in the presence of kink aware and like minded people.

A brief guide to the accepted public behavior of a slave:

• A slave should always see to your comfort and well being first and foremost. They should make sure that you have everything which you need, are happy at where you are. If there is something in which would make you more comfortable, they should see to it before their own needs.
• A slave should always kneel in a open position, to display themselves to your eyes, even if you are not directly paying attention to you. This will enforce their slavery to you upon them, and show you that they respect your place as their Owner.
• If kneeling is not practical for the specific position in which they are in, they should remain standing till otherwise told.
• A slave should never “assume” they are allowed to sit down on a chair, or any sort of furniture at all, unless you have instructed otherwise. They place is upon their knees at your feet, first and foremost. This type of assumption could easily lead to the slave forgetting their place to you, and their status to you.
• A slave should never initiate conversation, but should reply to anything which is spoken to him or her. The response should always be very polite, and specific to the question asked. The slave should always look towards the person whom which they are addressing.
• The slave should always pay attention to the conversation even if its not about them.
• If the slave seems to be distracted, bored or fidgety, you should excuse yourself from the conversation and take the slave away and punish them for such. They should always look pleasing in the eyes of yourself and others, and there is no excuse for this.
• A slave should always seek permission to leave your side. When allowed such, the slave should be quick to their tasks, finish them and then return to you. If you leave your slave for certain reasons, you should make sure that the slave is safe, and not left in a uncomfortable or vulnerable position. You should always check on the slave often to make sure they are ok. If nothing else, try to keep them with you. They are now dependant upon you, for simple things, remember such.
• A slave should always address you by your titles, and others by the title of “Sir, or Ma’am”. This shows their respect to the person whom which they are speaking to. There are no pre-set titles for a slave to address other slaves. Sometimes Trainers require slaves to address other slaves as “sister, or brother”, denoting their slavery. This is totally up to you.
• Slaves should always remember their place, always be respectful to others around them, and never act out in bad behavior. This not only brings disrespect to themselves, but also disrespect to you. This should not be tolerated, and should be punished severely.

Behavior in a Vanilla Environment

Just because the slave is in a vanilla environment doesn’t mean that the slave’s service or status changes in any regard. A slave whom which finds him or herself should still be tentative of your needs. The following is a brief guideline on what would be considered appropriate behavior in a vanilla environment

• In a vanilla environment, calling You by the title of “Master or Mistress” may be frowned upon depending upon where you are and whom you are around. Some people may accept it, but others may question such. Your slave however should still refer to you by title, using “Sir and Ma’am” which is more widely accepted then the previous titles.
• Your slave should still keep his/her place behind you, walking behind you, standing behind you, and remaining at your side. It may not be appropriate for a slave to kneel at your feet with his/her legs wide open. You may wish a slave to kneel with their legs closed, or perhaps remain standing.
• Your slave should always be aware of your needs. They should make sure your drink glass is not empty, make sure you are comfortable where you are. They should carry things for you, taking such burden off of you.
• When walking they should continue to keep themselves slightly open, yet not extremely open as they would in a D/s environment. They should refrain from closing their lips totally, walking with their legs slightly parted. They should keep their hands behind them, and make sure they are standing up straight. This will present good posture, as well as display themselves to your gaze.
• Their clothing should still be monitored by yourself. You may wish to go through their wardrobe and point out what sort of clothing you wish them to wear. Clothing should feature their assets and good points about them.
• Any misbehavior should still be counted against them and handled in a appropriate place. You may not wish to discipline them in the open of normal society, however when returning home, such actions should be delta with. There may come a time when you may need to take them off to the corner to speak with them, if their behavior becomes extremely unwelcoming to you. Remember that no matter where you are, they should make every effort to be pleasing to your eyes and to make sure you are not embarrassed by their performance.

Voice training is one of the most advanced stages of training of a slave. Voice training deals mostly with respect and the demeanor of a slave. It not just deals with the actual verbal speech of a slave, but also deals with the thought pattern of a slave.

The are many parts of the human voice and verbal speech. The tone of our voice, the choice of our words, how we speak, the volume of our voice can give a person a large mental image of what is going on within our minds. The best way for a person to express themselves is through speech. I personally, when training a slave, will require them to take a serious of speech classes which are usually given at any educational site, such as a local college, or public learning centers. Within these classes, the slave can learn many aspects of the voice. With our voices, most of us find ourselves comfortable expressing our happiness, contempt, sadness, irritations, fear, and other aspects of our emotions. The tone of our actual voice underscores the looks on our face, and the movement of our bodies.

Firstly, a slave’s voice is a privilege and not a right. Even though they may have something important in which to say, to teach, or even to ask, the use of their actual voice is a privilege in which they must earn, it is nothing which they should consider a right. If their voice is used properly, they should be rewarded for such, however if used improperly, they should have such privilege taken away, just as any other reward would be taken away for bad behavior.

Slaves should never make remarks or phrase a question, or offer ideas to express his/her own needs or desires. The slave themselves may indeed have them, but needs to learn to speak in such a way to not voice them. Their needs and desires are up to the Trainer or Owner to fulfill.

Before you begin “voice training” your slave, the first thing which you should do is figure out and create a set of guidelines for the slave. You should determine what you want and how you want your slave to speak. Once you choose the course for your slave, you must be willing to enforce it at all times, whether or not you feel the need or desire to do so. This is important, specially with verbal training.

Voice Training Section One: The use of the Title

The first step to voice training is the usage of the Owner or Trainer’s title, and usage of the word “Sir or Ma’am”. Even though the use of such titles, shows the high amount of respect and gratitude for which your slave has for you, and the respect for other Masters and Mistresses in which he/she may find themselves around, it should become as easy as speaking the first name of their partner in a normal vanilla relationship. They should not have to think about it. They should not even have to ponder such. The following is a brief guideline on the usage of “titles”.

• Within the confines of privacy, or in a kink aware environment, the usage of the title “Master/Mistress” to denote you, or the title of “Sir and Ma’am” to other Dominants should be mandatory. A slave should follow the usage of the title after every complete thought. Some people replace “Sir/Ma’am” with the words “Milord, or Milady”, using the old English way of speaking, to denote a difference between yourself, and other Dominants.
• During a Scene, a punishment, or a normal gathering in a D/s environment, the title should be spoken at the end of each completed sentence.
• There will be places where the usage of “Master/Mistress” may not be suitable due to the environment and the people around you. This is where you should consider the usage of the other titles, such as “Milord, or Milady”, or “Sir/Ma’am”, depending upon your decision. A slave should never refer to their Owner or Trainer as him/her or he/she. If they are speaking and must refer to their Owner/Trainer in public, they should do so by Sir and your first name such as, “I belong to Sir Steven”. If you do not wish the slave to use your First name, Then “Sir/Ma’am”, or “Milord/Milady” would work. Such is up to your digression.
• Some Owners/Trainers require the title to be spoke before and after each thought such as “Sir, Yes, Sir”, or “Master, yes Master”. This could also be used as a possible punishment for growing lazy with such usage of a title.

Silence training” is the art of teaching the slave to be silence. In our everyday life, we use our voice to communicate. It is the one main element for such. Teaching “silence” is almost as critical and difficult as training and teaching a slave how to speak. It may seem like a easy venture, just ordering the slave to be silent, but there are many key elements in this level of training to consider.

There will be times within the training, and course of the relationship between you and the slave, where you will want and demand a silent environment. There is a lot more to just training a slave to speak within the arts of silence. However, first I want to explain the psychological aspects of “silence training”. Taking away a slave’s ability to speak not only gives forth a physical impact upon a slave, but also one of a mental nature as well. We are mostly now dealing with the mental aspects of training and slavery in these parts. Removing a person’s ability to speak, also removes a bit of their humanity. Our ability to communicate verbally, is a strong aspect of what differs us from the other sources of life upon the planet. Our humanity comes from our ability to speech, and removing such from one person, drills in the aspect that they are mere objects at the mere control of yourself. You should be very careful with this aspect of training, and remember what you are doing.

The first method of “silence training” is to teach the slave only to speak when addressed, or unless he/she needs to alert you of something. This teaches the slave, that they are below you, and such is their voice as well. The slave should learn that their voice is a mere gift, which you grant them to use, and not something which should be used lightly. They should learn that their voice is a gift, and rewarded to them just like everything else is given to them. However, there should be times where you and the slave should speak freely amongst each other, times where you and him/her are in the relationship stage. Remember that communication is important to the relationship at hand.

The next stages of silence training involve more, drawing the slave into a environment of total and absolute silence. Here are a quick run down on methods and points which you should take into consideration with this level of training.

• Firstly, you should remove all background noise from the environment. This will remove anything which might distract the slave during this moment of training. You should turn off any music, the television, computer, or anything else which may make some sort of noise.
• You should avoid using the phone during this moment. If you cannot tolerate this level of silence, you may want to invest in earplugs, or headphones for the slave to wear, to remove such noises from the slave.
• Teach the slave to only use as many words as needed to convey a thought.
• “Corner Time” as a punishment, or any other punishment which removes a slave from your presence for a long period of time, should use the time to think about why they are being punishment. They should also be given the right to speak to you if there is a emergency. There should always be that aspect of communication.

Instruct the slave to focus mostly on themselves in this moment of training and on you solely. The training should move beyond voice as well. You should teach the slave to walk or crawl without making noise, cleaning, bathing, or any other types of movements should be trained to be done with absolute quietness.

There are some key factors to remember when you work with silence in your slave. They are very important to remember and understand, for they can bring many repercussions to the slave’s mentality, if you do not take them into consideration.

• Disallowing a person their voice is a negative issue, and will remove a person’s humanity, something even though we are teaching slavery, can have a negative impact upon a person. You must remember that they are humans, and even though slaves, they have a right to their humanity. There are times when you should allow the slave to speak freely with you.
• If you demand a slave to be silent during a physical punishment, such as a paddling, whipping, or other form of punishment which involves pain, you should realize that it will be more then impossible for a slave to remember silent completely. They will cry out, tear, and make other noises, and this is just unavoidable, and should not be corrected for such.
• A slave should always have the right to communicate with you if there is a emergency.
• A slave should be able to converse and speak with their family.

” Punishment & Discipline “

The term “Discipline” describes the Psychological restraining, with the use of rules and punishment to control overt behavior. Punishment can be pain caused physically (such as caning), humiliation caused psychologically (such as a public flagellation) or loss of freedom caused physically (for example, chaining the submissive partner to the foot of a bed). Another aspect is the structured training of the Bottom

A slave thrives on the Master’s ability to guide, instruct & discipline them when such is needed. There will be times when you will have to correct and discipline the slave for improper behavior as you have requested the slave to do. Slaves expect their Owners to demonstrate and explain their needs, they expect the Owner/Dominant to instruct about what the Dominant requires of the slave. This is a important aspect of “control” which is apart of the aspect of Mastery over another person. Furthermore, when a slave has done incorrectly, they expect to be punished and corrected for such behavior. If the Dominant fails to do such, they will only seem them as “weak”, and the thrive of their strength will be hurt.

There will become a point in the relationship between you and your slave, where you will have to discipline or punish the slave for improper behavior. There are many things which to take into consideration when you draw up a proper punishment.

[ Thoughts to Remember ]

The first thing to remember is to always understand why the slave did not obey the order which you gave to him or her. Always ask the slave why it is that they disobeyed you, and understand what had happened. There may be a valid reason for the disobedience or not following your command or word. At these times, punishments should not be given as they can be found as abuse. if you punish a slave for something which doesn’t deserve punishment, then the level of trust between the slave and yourself will diminish and problems will occur down the line.

The second concept which you must understand before punishing a slave, is to know the slave inside and out. At this point you should have well completed the disclosure portion the training, and should understand the slave, but in understanding the slave, you should know what punishments will work and which ones will not work. If you are giving a physical punishment, then you should make sure that the pain is at the levels which the slave can tolerate, and do not go over the levels which he/she can tolerate, which can lead to areas of abuse.

Thirdly, when you begin to punish a slave, you must make sure that you yourself are very much in control of yourself. If you punish a slave out of anger or throw a temper, it will be easy for you to loose control, and end up hurting the slave. You must always remain focused, and make sure you are there one hundred percent. Never ever loose control of yourself, because you will loose control of your slave.

You should not punish a slave to the point where he/she begins to fear you. Remember that punishing a slave, means that you are teaching the slave, making them understand and correcting them. Punishment is not a way to hit and abuse your slave for reasons. If you over punish a slave, you run the risk of the slave whose obedience is based upon fear, rather then the want and desire to please you, and his/her desire to serve. You should never terrify the slave into being submissive to you.

The slave should understand completely for what actions he/she will be punished for and which actions he/she won’t be punished for. You should inform the slave of what you require of him/her. The slave should understand the levels of punishment for what infractions, and understand the consequences of their disobedience. There should be no area to question, and if there is, you should instruct the slave on how you like something done. You need to remember that slaves cannot read minds, if there is a way you want something handled, then you need to inform the slave of such.

The next point to punishment is that the punishment should not be pleasing to the slave. The slave should understand that he/she is being punished, and for what reasons they are being punished. The slave should always understand the reason in which they are being punished, and should understand the consequences for their actions.

Once you discipline or punish a slave for a infraction of your rules, or because they have been disobedient, you will need to continue to punish them if they continue to do the same infraction. If you find yourself punishing for the same thing over and over, you may have to look at the punishment at hand, and adjust things. It might be that your punishment is too soft, or isn’t enough, and things may need to be changed. This can be time consuming but if you do not follow through, the level of trust which your slave is putting into you, may lessen overtime, or the slave may begin to question you. Sometimes slave will act in a disobedient way to test your levels, or test you in general. If your slave fails to trust you in this area, how can the slave trust you to make decisions in higher levels of the relationship. You must always choose carefully and wisely. You should make sure the punishment fits the crime. You should also remember not to give so many rules, or punish so often that you forget your own rules.

[ Forms of Punishments & Corrections ]

Verbal Punishments

The first form of correction is in the form of a verbal reprimand. This type of punishment can be as painful and effective as a physical punishment. No slave wants to be told they are being displeasing, as it will shoot right down into their heart. The slave’s main focus is to be pleasing at all times, within their slavery, and to be told otherwise, can be, just as stated, as hurtful as a physical punishment.

“Lectures”

In a more serious act of disobedience, a “lecture” might be required. Lecturing is a more forceful method of avoiding physical contact and physical punishment to the slave. Remember, that a lecture is not a time to start yelling and screaming at the slave. If you begin to raise your voice and yell and scream, you will only show loss and lack of control, and this will hinder and damage the relationship of trust between you and the slave. The lecture is meant for the slave to gain a sense of shame and remorse in the slave, whom has failed to meet and attend to their duties. When lecturing the slave, they should be held within a position of attention. If the slave is bearing any clothing, they should be removed, or least pulled down from the slave, to expose themselves to you. This will encourage the slave to be more attuned and attentive to their place. You should always maintain a firm tone when you speak to the slave. The slave should get the feeling that he/she has caused you displeasure, and that alone will be disconcerting to the slave. You should not allow the slave to speak (see silence training) during a time of lecture. The slave should only be allowed to answer you, when asked direct questions. Do not let the slave control you, but control the slave specially in these times. The slave will be overwhelmed with wanting to say butt, and begging and pleading trying to apologize. Lectures are a very thing which to use.

Physical & Corporal Punishments

The next form of punishment is that of a physical punishment, or sometimes what we consider to be “corporal” punishment. This might include spankings, whippings, canings or other physical types of punishments. While a Dominant’s feel of disappointment might drive home a good point with the slave, sometimes it is not enough, and a more physical or corporal punishment might be required. When applying a corporal punishment, you must be very careful in what you do. You can easily over do the punishment and hurt the slave both physically and mentally. Slaves are not there to be objects which you can beat your frustration out on. With corporal or physical punishments, there is also a point to the slaves. They must address to you whether something is pleasing or not, and if they do so, you need to change it. Punishments are not supposed to be arousing or pleasing to the slave at all.

The slave also has a responsibility to change the mindset in which makes it pleasurable to him/her. It is her duty not to “just accept it” or “just take it””. It is her responsibility to accept it for what it is and not accept it for what it is not. Any slave will know the differences between punishment and pleasure if done correctly by the Dominant.

There are also various other physical punishments. A punishment doesn’t always have to be a corporal one where striking the slave is in order. This is where the Dominant needs to be a bit creative. The more you make the slave think and “feel” the better the punishment will be remembered, and the better the slave will remember what they did wrong or right.

• : (A small closet or room for a period of time. Isolation could mean a lack of telephone, email, or mail communication for a time.)
• Sleep deprivation (Never to the point where health is endangered)
• Make slave wait at attention when she has to use the bathroom before allowing her to go.
• Deprive slave of orgasm for a period of time.
• Hard paddling (deprive slave of sub-space through pausing, changing tempo or severity)
• Writing assignments (by hand)
• When it is used inappropriately, a slave’s mouth can be washed out with soap. (This is not a dangerous practice, but slave should not swallow until she is allowed to rinse -otherwise she might become ill.)
• Ignore slave while she is in your presence.
• Have slave wear sign stating her offense. Place her where she will be noticed (for BDSM friendly use)
• Assign slave extra tasks, or make the tasks more difficult (i.e., washing floor with toothbrush)
• At a restaurant, order your meal and order two slices of white bread and a glass of water for the slave.
• Stand the slave at attention for an extended period of time with the warning that any noise will double the time.
• Stand slave at attention at front door of your home. (Clothed)
• Disallow slave the use of her hands. She should crawl and fetch with her mouth.
• Shave slave’s head (assuming it is appropriate to her vanilla life and she likes her hair.)
• In BDSM friendly spaces, keep slave clothed, give her no scene, do not allow her to kneel or exhibit slave behaviors, but order her to sit quietly in a chair with her hands in her lap and watch the good behavior of other slaves for the evening.
• In fetish or BDSM clubs or private homes, offer slave to owner/manager/host for kitchen or bus service.
• Deny slave’s privileges. (Computer, email, telephone, television) She should spend the time she would normally spend doing these things in journaling, cleaning, or even standing in the corner for the evening.
• Have slave kneel and wrap her mouth around a doorknob for an extended amount of time.
• Place slave in corner, put a dime on the wall just above her waist level and have her hold it there with her nose. Her hands should be behind her back or spreading herself open.
• Place kneeling slave on an upside down welcome mat (the kind with the non-skid spikes)
• Make slave walk to a place she normally drives (within reason).
• If, by bedtime, your slave has not completed her daily chores, she should be made to do so before she can go to bed. (This, of course, after you have finished with her should you desire her services.)
• If slave does not move quickly enough, take her out for a run alongside the car while you drive. (Curious people will think she’s training for a marathon)

Some punishments are best if they fit the crime, so to speak – for example:

• If you find dirt in the corner of a floor the slave has just washed, she should first re-wash it, then eat her dinner directly off the floor.
• Improperly folded towels, sheets and clothes can be punished by removing all items from drawers or cupboards and piling them for the slave to refold.
• Dirty dishes found in cupboards can either be eaten from (not terribly effective) or once again, all cupboard items (plates, cups, silver and pans) removed, placed on the floor and re-washed by hand, towel dried, and replaced.
• If you live in a place where children cannot observe you, the slave can wash neglected windows in the nude (at least from the inside)
• If slave has been vocally impertinent, have her try an entire evening without being allowed to speak.

Remember that the listed punishments do not always have to be implemented. The constant reminder or using some as a “promise” might be enough for the slave to remember his/her place. These are not set in stone either, and can be used and changed to fit your needs. These are only meant as some ideas, and more will be added, as more are thought of or brought up. Physical punishments may sometimes be followed by a lecture if such warrants it.

Sometimes you may need to mix and match things, like add a physical strike with a verbal reprimand, or a lecture with a physical punishment. This is solely up to you but remember to make sure that the punishment fits the crime. Remember not to make the punishment too soft you loose your point, or too much that it is to the point of being abusive.

[ The Aftermath of Punishment ]

After you punish a slave, do not move into sexual stimulation immediately. Allot of new Dominants in D/s will make this mistake. You should not reword or cuddle the slave after the punishment. You should make sure they are ok physically, and give them time to overlook and review what has happened. I myself will require the slave to make a journal entry immediately after the punishment has been dealt. There are some Dominants whom will require a separate journal or punishment log to be held. This of course is up to the digression of the Dominant in charge.

Another point to remember that after the punishment has given out, it should end it. You should never bring up “old” infractions as a basis for judging new ones. If you spank or lecture the girl for it, you should not turn round and do it again within a hour or so. This will only grind the slave down even more, and cause mental harm to the slave.

The slave should also be given a chance to always apologize to you after the punishment is given, and you should accept their apology and unless the punishment is something major, you should always tell the slave that you forgive them. This will give them a feeling that they were corrected, punished, and you don’t hate them. Never show hate or anger towards a slave, this only leads to abuse.

You should always remember that just because you are through with the session or the correction, doesn’t mean that the slave will be done with such. Their feelings may go on for awhile. They may be upset over it for a period of time. You are dealing with a slave’s emotions and you must understand them. Punishing a slave is like punishing a child in some regards. It might be wise to put the slave in a position, have them write in their journals, or something which helps them to calm down from the punishment.

[ Final Thoughts to Remember ]

Remember that slaves should confess everything which they should do wrong. If the slave does not, they are only hurting themselves. It is their duty to inform you when they have done wrong. They should understand that if they do not confess the punishment will be more later one. Punishments should not be lessened just because the slave confessed,

And finally for a strong foundation to exist between the Dominant and the slave, the Dominant must always be in control of themselves for all things. The Dominant must mean what they say, and carry through with the promise of punishment when made. If you do not, damage can be done to the relationship. Keep this in mind.

“Rewards”

The concept of reward is almost the opposite of the concept of punishment. It is the ability to give the slave comfort and reward for good behavior. Within the relationship of Mastery and Slavery there is two major aspects, and that is “love” and “obedience”. There is also something which we refer to as the “balance” of D/s. Just like the Ying and Yang Symbols, which means that everything has two sides, such does D/s in a way. Your slave, if within that balance will work well for you and will serve you well.

The concept of rewarding a slave, should not be something which needs to be all of the way, it is something which should in fact be earned and justified. A reward can be something from a brief few words of praise, to a night on the town for the slave to enjoy. You must remember that it is in fact that you are yes, the Owner, but this is a relationship, and I try to strive this point much within the training, is to remember that this is a relationship, and you are responsible for the person’s mentality. You should always love your slave, even if you are nothing but a trainer, for there are many “levels” of love, but compassion and caring are a strong aspect of D/s. You are in charge of taking care of this person, remember that.

” Introduction to Rituals”

The next section pertains to “rituals” which allows the Dominant to draw some form of even more structure to the relationship at hand. These are things which are done on a daily basis, each day, a sort of schedule if you would say. It is good to give the slave some form of rituals for their everyday lives. This lays out a even firmer ground of control between you and the slave. The enforcement and incorporation of “ritualistic” behavior also increases the slave’s awareness of the difference between you and the slave. it reminds the slave of the importance of your needs and desires, helping to slave to place behind, their own needs and wants, to serve you.

Rituals do not often have to be just before you, and can be preset to happen outside of your presence, which in the end increases your level of authority over the slave’s daily life. You must take into consideration that “rituals” are not meant to be random or useless set of behaviors. The rituals should either be practical or deal with specific behaviors which will increase the slave’s ability to serve and be pleasing to you. Slaves whom thrive on your attention and are given rituals, will proceed to be happier, and understand that you control their lives, that even outside of their presence, your firm hand is still upon them.

Rituals and repeated behaviors also teach self discipline to a slave. It allows and teaches the slave to be responsive to your needs at all times. The aspects of training take time for both you and the slave. You must encourage the slave to strive to be better in what you have given him/her, and that he/she will move onto the next step, once the previous steps have been mastered. The following are some brief steps on setting up rituals for your slave.

“Basic Steps in setting up Rituals”

The first thing with setting up rituals is to take a look at yourself, and understand what you need. Rituals should not be confused with Rules. a Rule is something like a slave must receive permission to cum each time, before they orgasm, a ritual is the question which the slave posses each time the slave wishes to orgasm.

The second thing which you should consider is that rituals should go against normality. They should not be things which the slave will do by instinct, but things which go against the slave’s instincts. Rituals which a slave actually has to think about, are the best form. This will increase the slave’s thought patterns and the way the slave thinks, focusing his/her thoughts upon you. Over time the rituals will become normal to the slave, and become part of the slave’s habit.

The third consideration to take in, is just like rules, do not load the slave up on rituals. You should always start out slow, allowing the slave to work into the habits which you require of him or her. If you overload the slave with rituals, it will just set them up to fall, and thus damage the relationship. Choose one or two specific rituals and allow the slave time to get used to them, then add more as time goes on. This allows the slave to better adjust to your requirements.

“Examples of Basic Rituals”

Greeting & presentation:

When the Master enters a room

1. The slave should be taught to kneel at attention every time her Master enters the room. If she is working or relaxing, all activity ceases to perform this act. During her initial training, she should expect to hold the position until she is given leave to resume her activities. When you are confident in the slave’s training, you may be able to allow her to kneel and then continue on her own. (Some Master’s prefer a curtsy; if you choose a curtsy, the slave should learn how to perform one with some semblance of grace.) It would behoove you to relax this rule under certain conditions; for example, when your slave is sitting on the toilet – unless you are prepared to deal with the potential outcome, or unless the slave is in great need of a humiliating experience. Kneeling in the bath or shower, though, seems perfectly acceptable, as long as the tub isn’t too slippery.
2. If the slave notices her Master intends to remain in the room, she should offer Him her services. (i.e. “Can this slave be of assistance to You, Sir?”)
3. If the answer is “Yes,” the slave should put aside anything she is working on to fulfill her duty to serve. NO activity is more important than serving her Master’s immediate needs. (This includes finishing a shower or a meal) If the answer is “No,” and the slave is given leave to attend to her activities, she should perform them as she normally would, even if her Master is a constant presence.

When the slave enters a room her Master is occupying:

1. A slave should always knock before entering the room, (unless, of course, she is already in service and must leave to get something, etc.) This is true of rooms with or without doors. A slave’s presence should be announced, and she should not assume she is welcome everywhere at all times.
2. The slave should not speak until she is acknowledged, and should not knock more than once unless she is fairly certain her Master did not hear.
3. When acknowledged, the slave should apologize for the interruption and announce her intentions.
4. If she is not acknowledged, she should not enter the room. (Once again, the Master’s immediate need for privacy overrides any desire or duty the slave may have, and foregoing it can be explained to the Master at a later time if necessary.)

When leaving a room her Master is occupying:

1. The slave should announce her intentions to leave by asking permission to do so. (This rule can be relaxed when the slave must be in and out of a room frequently, but it should be you that suggests relaxing the rule, not the slave.) Depending on the circumstances, you may have a formal pose the slave must assume to ask this of you, or a method by which she gets your attention and is allowed to speak. Determine how you want to handle this before it happens, and impart that information to the slave.
2. If the slave is leaving to attend any personal duties (other than using the bathroom or getting a drink of water, etc.), she should first determine that you approve of her activity. (i.e. “May this slave go online, Sir?”) She should further determine that you have no immediate need for her, and that before she abandons her post, you have everything you will need during her absence.
3. It seems appropriate to note here that it is OK to say “No,” to a slave’s request, even if it is just your whim to do so. The slave must understand that her rights are quite limited. If you prefer that she stand in the corner all evening, or scrub the floors with a toothbrush, she must learn to have no qualms about your decisions. This will be difficult for her. Many slaves seem to feel that good behavior on their part deserves reward. That is not the case. The slave should learn to expect nothing, under any circumstances. This is not to say you shouldn’t reward her, and even reward her frequently. You do not wish her to become dull, lifeless, resentful and uninteresting. However, acquiescing to her every request allows her to make the assumption that all she has to do is voice her desire, and it will be granted. Saying “No,” once in awhile is as important as saying “Yes.” Pouting, whining, complaining or balking when she is told “No,” should result in immediate and appropriate discipline.

While every Master has His own preferences in personal care, the essentials of cleanliness are universal, and can be part of a maintenance plan that is not overly taxing or time-consuming for you or too difficult for the slave to accomplish effectively. Fortunately, most people are familiar with bathing, but bathroom instruction is not dependent upon the actual “cleanliness” of your slave. Instructing her in matters of hygiene is a method of exercising your control, even in the most personal areas. slaves usually enjoy the attention, even if it is embarrassing for them initially. More, they enjoy being provided with structure, and the care you place on detail.

The rule of thumb for most slaves is that they are to be clean, inside and out at all times; always in a pleasant condition whether they are needed for sex or for service. This is obviously a somewhat unrealistic “rule,” but nonetheless one that can be enforced. (When it’s not misused or abused, one of the more delightful aspects of a BDSM lifestyle is the ability to suspend reality and give oneself over to ideals and fantasies of perfection. )

Cleanliness Rituals

Get your slave used to the idea that she will not necessarily be afforded privacy in the bath. The slave needs to feel that she is not allowed to ‘hide’ any procedure from her Master.

• Watch your slave at her bath a time or two. Offer her suggestions or advice if you have it. If not, make something up; the order in which she cleans her body, bending over to clean between her legs, etc. Don’t make it terribly complex, but tell her she should follow the procedure each time she bathes, whether you are with her or not. This obviously makes no difference in the state of her cleanliness. Instead, it places you with her every time she steps into the bath or shower.
• If you have time, choose the soaps, shampoos and lotions the slave will use (unless the slave must use special products in light of skin irritation, etc.) You can do this as you run across a particular item, or all at once at the beginning of her training. In either case, you are once again placing yourself in her most private moments.
• The slave should be informed about your desires for hair removal. (Remember that skin is often delicate- don’t tell her to wax her pubic hair when shaving is adequate, unless this is already her habit.) For a slave with normal skin, shaving can, and should be done every day. The more often shaving takes place, the less irritating it becomes.
• Douching: Most of us know that the vagina is “self-cleaning,” but occasional douching is hardly a dangerous practice. Instruct the slave to use only warm water or a vinegar and water douche if you require it, and make it clear to her that she should not overdo it. (Daily douching often rinses away the natural ability to fight infection, etc.) The slave should be sent to the drugstore for a combination douche/enema bag, shown how to use it if she doesn’t know, and watched a few times as well. (The watching is not necessary – just another method of enforcement). Your slave may be embarrassed to have you there with her. She’ll get over it.
• Enemas: This, of course, is your call. If you are a proponent of anal sex, enemas can increase your enjoyment of the act. They also serve as a wonderful method of slave humiliation, whether sex will be required of her or not. But, don’t be stupid! Do your research before insisting on any kind of enema. The practice of adding unnecessary ingredients (like wine) to enemas is simply irresponsible, as well as being extremely dangerous. If you do decide on occasional enemas, your slave may need your help to learn the correct method of operating the bag. Make sure you know the correct method. You may not wish to be a part of this process, but frankly, if you want her to do it, you should be able to bear it as well.
• At some point during the slave’s training (not right away) she should have to release the enema with you in the room. You may find this distasteful, but if it can be accomplished, it is an effective method of invading the slave’s privacy in a most deliberate way. If you should choose to do this, do NOT express discomfort with the process. The slave will be embarrassed enough. She needs you to be impervious. Make an extra effort afterward to reassure her that your feelings for her have not changed, and be aware that overcoming the desire to keep this area of her life private is the mark of a good slave.

Dress & Make-up

A slave’s hair, make-up and dress should all be approved of by her Master. If need be, the slave should be given a different routine for times she will be working, with the vanilla public, friends or family.

• A slave should maintain a hairstyle pre-approved by her Master. she should not be allowed to cut, color, or style it in any other way without first seeking His permission. There are few emergencies that would call for an exception to this rule.
• When in private or in scene-friendly spaces, make sure your slave knows your preferences for her make-up routine, if you have any. You may want her to look slutty one day, demure the next. That’s OK, but she should be given a “default” set of make up rules to follow unless she is told otherwise.
• If your slave works outside the home or spends a good deal of time away from home, she should be given specific instructions for make-up in those situations, so that she can conform to the rules of society without breaking yours.
• When in your presence, the slave should always do her best to be made-up to your specifications. A slave who is used to going out in public without being at least partially made-up should change her habits (unless your orders call for no make-up.) Remind her (and yourself) that she is a reflection of your desires.
• In matters of dress, the slave should defer to your tastes in fashion for her.
• Be realistic. Working outside the home may require a certain form of dress. While you cannot dictate that, you may dictate within it. For example, some Masters prefer their slaves to wear high collars, long sleeves, long skirts and flat shoes outside their presence so as not to present an image that invites undue attention. This is perfectly acceptable in work situations. If, however, you prefer your slave to look “slutty,” you will have to relax your standards. It’s unlikely she will keep her job if you insist on 5 inch spiked heels.
• If your slave has a collar she is expected to wear, provide her with a “substitute” collar to be worn outside. (My slave has a “choker” type necklace that resembles a chain. she is required to wear it as a symbolic collar at all times. )

The amount of control you wish to exert over the slave’s bodily functions can only be determined by your interest in such matters. I’ve heard of long-distance relationships in which the slave must call the Master to ask permission to use the bathroom. Personally, I can only see this working as a short-term training procedure or a possible punishment. Otherwise, it is costly and time-consuming, but nonetheless, the choice of the individual Master. If you begin something like this, you will have to be able to answer each request without annoyance or frustration, even if it comes on the half hour. Still, exhibiting control over these areas is much like rules regarding bathing and internal cleansing – the slave is forced to accept your authority in every aspect of her life.

• A less ambitious approach to bladder or bowel control could be the institution of a short-term (1 or 2 day) requirement of permission, but it is unlikely that a long-term lesson could be learned unless permission was frequently denied, or unless you were to be present every time permission was granted. This would more likely fall under the heading of a disciplinary procedure, not a ritual.

Misc. Rituals

• The slave should learn the appropriate times and methods of thanking her Master (i.e. after order are given, after orgasm, after punishment.) It is important to the slave to be able to express gratitude, and you should provide her that opportunity.
• The slave should be allowed to thank her Master after receiving a punishment. It is often important to the slave to acknowledge her gratitude for receiving a lesson, and it is a good habit to begin – especially if the slave will be given to others for play, where a “thank-you” is essential.
• The slave should also be allowed the opportunity to apologize for her mistake. It is highly appropriate to expect such an apology. (Crying out “I’m sorry Master,” during a paddling doesn’t count.) The apology should be offered after the punishment is complete. It allows the slave closure to the situation.
• You may wish your slave to thank you each time she is given an order (i.e. “You may go do the dishes,” “Thank You, Sir.”) If so, the slave’s response should be no longer than those three words. Anything more is wasted blathering.
• The ritual use of titles in the relationship
• The rituals of asking permission to orgasm

When performing a review session, it is a moment in time when you look back over things and see how the training is progressing. It is meant as a time for both you and the slave, to examine the training, seeing if things need to be changed, what needs to be worked more on, and what needs to be worked less. It is almost like a report card for a slave, analyzing the training, how things are going, and what needs to be changed. The review sessions should be short, and only every so often.

• The following is a list of things to take into consideration when developing your own method of revieiwing.
• A review is meant to make your life easier, not harder. Keep it as simple as possible, only including those things you’ve expected and will expect of the slave.
•  Use reviews only 2-4 times per year, unless you are comfortable with the time they take to perform.
•  If you use a form, tell the slave what the it should include and instruct her to design it and bring it to you for editing.
•  Set a time limit for the actual review (i.e. one hour) and facilitate the process so that it doesn’t exceed the prescribed time.
•  This is not a “workplace” type of review. The slave should understand that nothing is “up for discussion.” Her grievances should not be discussed while reviewing her performance, unless you choose to give her that privilege. It should not, however, be something she expects at this time.

Here are some steps to consider during the review session. Choose a time for review when you will not be interrupted.

•  If necessary, the slave should be given an appropriate amount of time to ‘center’ herself, through meditation, silence, isolation or another means that allows her to reflect on the nature and tenets of the relationship
• The slave should bring a copy of her last review and her punishment log as well as any other papers you require (journals, financial records and receipts, notepaper, etc.)
•  The slave should be given limited opportunity to talk, and should keep any responses short, respectful and accurate.\
• Do not punish the slave for poor performance at this time. Simply review. Punishments may be prescribed if truly necessary, but they should not be the focus of the review.
• If slave interrupts or makes excuses, gag her until the review is over. Remind her that the review is for her benefit as a slave. She should make every attempt to simply listen.
• Be honest. Try to find the slave’s areas of strength and focus on them as much as on her weaknesses.
• Everyone needs improvement. Emphasize to your slave that “needing improvement” does not (necessarily) mean she isn’t accomplishing your goals for her. Do not coddle her, however. Remember that most slaves find the structure of this kind of review comforting, and many are honored that you care enough about them to make the effort.
• If your situation allows for it, the slave should post her current review form in a place she will see it daily (near her sleeping area, on the refrigerator.)
• Make it clear to the slave that you will continue to monitor her performance, and will insist on results.

How to Proceed:

• The slave should prepare the area for review, i.e. locks doors, turns off tv, makes sure Master has drink, paper, etc. handy so that review doesn’t have to be interrupted once it begins.
• The slave should ‘present’ for review clean, naked, made-up if possible.
• The slave brings rule list, punishment log, guidelines, paper & pencil or anything else Master determines to be necessary or advantageous.
• The slave begins by kneeling up, reading complete rule list &/or guidelines.
• The slave offers ‘confession’ to Master. Confession applies both to rules and to other things slave needs to reveal to Master to remain completely honest and to make the review effective.
• At this point, the slave can be extended the privilege of sitting back on her heels, so that she can focus on her Master’s words.
• The Master reviews by listing and commenting on general areas (some examples below)
• The Master shares review “rtings” with slave in more specific areas (some examples below)
• The slave thanks her Master for review, His concern for her, etc., and if Master issues any corrections at that time, the slave prepares herself for immediate punishment. (with the understanding that all punishment may not be taken care of immediately)

Discipline: The Master should not be put “on the spot” by being expected to issue reprimands for confessional items. The Master should, however, have an idea of how slave has responded during the three months before review and if any immediate correction is needed as a result of her actions. The slave should expect correction for all acts contrary to Master’s orders and wishes, but the Master does not have to issue them at the time.

Examples of General Areas of comment:

• The slave’s strengths (minimum of three)
•  The slave’s weaknesses
• Areas of visible improvement (if any)
•  Things the slave needs to improve before next review.

Examples of Specific Areas of comment:

• Obedience
• Efficiency
• Loyalty
• Dedication
• Enthusiasm
• Household upkeep
• Need for punishment
• Demeanor
• Attendance
• Finances
• Voice/tone
• Posture/grace
• Public behavior
• Hygiene
• Sexual performance