When people think about control, they think about ropes and chains, physical control using bondage. However, there is a another side to control. There are all sorts of varieties of the lifestyle overlap each other. This small essay will look at two specific aspects of control; physical control and psychological control.
Physical Control
When we think of physical control, we are looking at two portions of the triad. Bondage and discipline, and Sado-masochism (or Sadists and masochists)
Even though it is not the most common form of physical control, one of the first concepts that comes to the minds of many is that of bondage; The use of ropes, chains, restraints, etc., to physically restrain someone.. Physical control is not only about restraining arms, legs and other parts of the body. There are also ways to physically restrain someone by confining them to small quarters or dungeons. Sometimes a mixture of both bondage and confinement is used to restrain someone. An example of such would be chaining them to a ring on the wall while confining them in a closed or tight space, dungeon or cell.
We can also use brute strength to overpower some. This could be in the context of pinning them up against a wall, grabbing their hands and yanking them behind their back, or using our strength and weight to pin them down against the ground. These three things is a prime example of not using confinement or physical bondage or restraint to restrain someone.
There is a technique called Shibari and Kinbaku Shibari refers to purely artistic, aesthetic rope while Kinbaku refers to the artistic, connective, sensual sexual practice as a whole. It is a series of tight bondage ropes which involves tying up a submissive or slave using simple yet visually intricate patterns, usually with several pieces of thin rope which is usually either jule, hemp or linen and generally around six mm in diameter, but sometimes as small as four mm. It is usually approximately 7m to 8m long.
One of the things to understand when practicing any type of physical restraint. Muscles can be pulled, skin can be damaged, and circulation can be cut off. When you are putting someone under any type of physical restrain or control, you MUST always pay attention to what their doing. Doing anything with long term suspension should use proper cuffs made to support the wrists or ankles. Ropes should be selected properly which won’t cut of chive the skin. There is a section on ropes which to use and not to use in the slave training guide.
Physical Restraint and control has been shown to psychologically induce someone into a mental and physical state of peace, relaxation. There are sometimes when a submissive or slave can be sent into sub space by simply being bound up or restrained. I have a submissive for which the simple use of rope in various types of textures can send them over the edge into sub space, without doing anything else to them.
Psychological Control (Mental and Emotional)
When we are looking at the Psychological aspects of control and restraint, we are looking at the concepts of the middle of the BDSM triad, Dominance and Submission.
There is a concept for which is known as “Bound by his sheer will”. This is a test of a submissive or slave’s total submission. It is a concept for which a submissive or slave is commanded to be placed into a situation. A example of this was placing a submissive upon her knees and telling her to raise her hands and push them out. From there, I placed a mug of hot tea on her hand and told her to obediently remain perfectly still not allowing the mug to topple or fall or spill. The submissive did as commanded and remained perfectly still. At times this is used as a test of obedience and control, placing the submissive in a position for which they have to hold.
We can also use techniques such as certain body language, facial expressions, tone of voice for which to make a submissive or slave feel something or react in a certain way. Submissives may respond differently to the use of various tones of voice. When my submissives hears me using a deeper and darker voice then the casual normal voice for which I speak with, it at times can spark different aspects of responses back to her.
Psychological control incorporates the use of discipline, structure, and servitude. This usually forms the template for a traditional relationship in the D/s or M/s relationship structure. At the beginning of a relationship Is usually where boundaries are established, principles and expectations are all worked out and agreed upon and then lead by the direction of the dominant. This does not mean that the submissive doesn’t have the right to question or say no. Questions are used to clarify the intentions of the dominant. However questions should not be used for confrontational or to debate a dominant’s lead or guidance once initially things are agreed upin. The level of questions for which are accepted is usually governed based on what type of power change you are in. There is a strong difference between total power exchange and a normal power exchange, for which are spoken about in another article written on this site.
Dominants creates a sense of structure and order within a submissive’s life by establishing this type of restraint and control. Rules and regulations have consequences for which are laid out to the submissive. Consequences bring about punishment for infringements and discipline to drill those concepts and rules inside the submissive or slave’s head. The position of a Dominant is to establish the rules, to define the structure of the relationship agreed upon by the submissive or slave and then take control and enforce which has been built.
When it comes to enforcing this type of control or restraint upon a submissive, one of the biggest problems which comes about is dominants who establish and make rules which they cannot or don’t enforce. There is nothing more frustrating to a submissive when things have been defined and established and their not carried or followed through. Dominants who do not keep their words, destroys trust, creates confusion within the submissive, and sours and damages the overall relationship.