Understanding the differences between discipline and punishment is important. It is very critical to have a firm understanding of the process of both and how they are separate and how they also relate to each other.
As a society in this modern day world, the majority crave social order and seek a more modern “regular” existence. In this world there are several levels of authority from the government within our own countries and then within the business world, a boss or chief executive officer. It is up to this authority to bring about that law and order, instruct the group as a whole in the rules for that group, and any infractions against those rules are dealt with. Within the establishment of this level of law and order, the concepts of discipline and punishment come into play.
Etymology and Definition of Discipline and Punishment.
Discipline is related to the word “Disciple” or follower, therefore discipline is the knowledge that is given by a leader to his or her followers. Discipline refers to the training activities, methodologies and motivation techniques which we might employ within a leader/follower relationship, or even with ourselves (“self-discipline”).
Punishment comes from the verb “punish” which traces its roots back to the word “penalty” or “Great Loss”. Punishment refers to a penalty that has been inflicted for an actual “perceived” fault. An example of this would be a dog being swatted with a newspaper for chewing on your favorite shoe.
Understanding Discipline
In the lifestyle, Discipline is the action taken by a dominant to teach and mold a submissive the way that Dominant prefers. Discipline is training intended to produce a specific characteristic or pattern of behavior. It is also a state of order based on submitting to rules and authority of the Dominant. The dominant sets out what they want the submissive/slave to do or understand and uses discipline to set those rules in place, to teach and guide. Discipline is not about correcting, which is what “punishment” comes into play.
Let’s say for example you want to teach your submissive to focus on your “sexual needs” and not her own. A dominant might choose to use some form of a positive reinforcement to train the submissive to respond in a specific way in a specific situation. When the submissive is thinking of their sexual needs and getting aroused, you might have that submissive/slave pleasuring you in some fashion while denying them sexual gratification. This is usually in the training of orgasm denial. Is orgasm denial a punishment? Not necessarily because you are not “correcting” the submissive, you are “teaching and guiding the submissive.”
Discipline leads to the concepts of “Self Discipline” and “Self Regulation”. There comes a time where you will want the submissive/slave to be able to think for themselves, to make proper decisions and choices based on the rules and regulations which you are teaching them. Discipline in itself will never stop as there is always something to learn and something to teach, but after a while you would want the submissive/slave to be able to choose what is proper for themselves, building up good self-discipline within themselves to serve you.
Understanding Punishment
Punishment is a tool which is utilized by a Dominant when a submissive/slave has been willfully disobedient and has knowingly disobeyed a command or done something incorrectly. It is a response or the consequence to something which is wrong.
Consider our example before on sexual gratification and trying to get the submissive to focus on the Dominant. Let’s say for example that the submissive does in fact touch themselves and bring themselves to orgasm using their fingers. The dominant might decide to take a switch and smack the submissive’s genitals or perhaps the submissive/slave’s hands with the switch. This is punishing the person for doing something they were not supposed to be doing.
When punishing a submissive/slave there are several very important concepts to understand:
First, never punish when you are not completely calm. If you are emotional in any sense, it might be best to wait till you have calmed down. Emotions can render a Dominant’s ability to make proper and justified decisions null. Using proper techniques to give pause to a situation such as having a submissive/slave kneel in a specific position for punishment, having them go to their room and await you to join them when you are ready, or by telling them to stand in the corner. These are all techniques to use to give pause of time to allow you to get yourself under control in order to handle the situation properly. Sometimes we as Dominants act out in anger in inappropriate ways.
Punishments should be carried out and handled as soon as possible. It might not be possible to punish a submissive right there and then but waiting longer periods of time may end up damaging the essence of the punishment.
Ensure that the Punishment fits the crime. If a punishment is too soft it might not help the submissive to learn from the infraction. A dominant should always be quite clear and make sure the submissive understands why they are being punished. This can be accomplished two ways, by simply telling them or asking them what they did wrong to ensure they understand what they did wrong and why they are being punished.
One of the worst punishments which can be inflicted on a submissive/slave is taking away the privilege of serving the Dominant. This might be not calling them when you normally would, or removing them from your presence for a period of time. A personal example was having a submissive stand to the side of the room while she watched me washing the dishes, normally something for which she does after I have spent a hard time cooking and preparing the meal and she knew this, and knew WHY I was doing the dishes and cleaning and why she was made to watch. This was detrimental to her as a submissive, because she lost that right to serve me, as she knew I wanted her to.
Sometimes the emotional impact on a submissive/slave when they are punished can be extreme. They tend to be harder on themselves when they know that they have failed or upset their Dominant and tend to punish themselves internally far greater then you could ever punish them.
Finally, when you have rendered a punishment the same concepts of aftercare come into play if not more so. You want to forgive the submissive for their infractions and let it go. Hounding on something over and over again can be detrimental. We’re not here as dominants to hold a grudge or let something linger on. There needs to be forgiveness and absolution. This is a critical component to the submissive accepting the consequences and moving on from them. If you cannot move on, how exactly do you expect them to do so?
Physical Contact for both Discipline and Punishment.
Some consider “Whipping” merely to be an act of punishment and not something which you would find used for discipline. However, this is very much a misconception. A whip could be used for both discipline and punishment; it is merely the intent or the emotions which are behind what and why it is being used. A submissive may greatly enjoy being whipped. It can be a sense of release for the submissive, especially those who are masochist and crave pain along with pleasure. The Dominant could want the submissive/slave to learn to accept a whipping for a mixture of pain and pleasure, and wishes that submissive/slave to learn to enjoy being whipped. However, that same submissive could turn round and be punished with a whip. There is a different atmosphere and mindset which is behind why it is being done. The submissive/slave knows they have done wrong, knows that the Dominant is displeased or upset with them. This dominant isn’t whipping the submissive/slave for their own pleasure or the exchange of pleasurable energy between the Dominant and submissive/slave but because they are “correcting” a “wrong doing” of some kind. This is where the differences come into play.