I am a dominant because?
Is a dominant someone who has woken up one morning and decided that they are in fact a dominant? Are we born with some inner dominant gene for which we have acquired for our parents for which makes us a dominant? I believe that dominance is something for which we become. It is about the choices for which we make in our lives in one way. We choose to be dominants. There are some for which are learned dominants for which they learn how to become a dominant and there are those who are natural dominants, however when it comes down to it, it is all about choices.
There is no right or wrong way in the choices we make. There is no textbook or handbook even if we joke about the Dominants handbook existing. That is the very thing about this lifestyle is that there is no right or wrong way for which to do things. We as dominants are at the limits of our creativity and imagination. We are at the limits of our standards of moralities, our core values and our own self imposed limitations on life and the choices for which we make.
There are some very basic ground rules for which every dominant should understand and know. These ground rules are simply to respect other people and their kinks, their ideas, their fantasies and their concepts. Just because we as dominants do not agree with them or understand them, does not make them wrong. We are like snowflakes for which every Dominant is different. We all have different upbringings for which have influenced our senses of choice. We all have different kinks and desires, some for which others may not agree with. We are not there to shove our ideals and concepts down another’s throat, that would be extremely wrong.
Being a dominant is like making a home. How and where we go about building this home is our choice. Many buildings will look different from the outside. Some might be square and others might be some weird shapes. Some might have multiple stories to them and different types of roofs. They all have a foundation and strong walls on all sides however. The better the overall concrete foundation for which the buildings stands on, the stronger the house will be. This goes the same way for a dominant.
The overall time and effort for which you put into yourself, the time taken to get to know yourself, understand yourself, not just your strengths but your weaknesses and limits as well will provide and make you a stronger and better dominant.
“Be the dominant you are” Allow the decisions you make about yourself, your family and your surroundings flow from within you. Falling this and trying to be someone you are not, trying to force yourself to make decisions for which you do not agree with, just because the majority of people agree with them, will cause the foundation for which you have built yourself on to crumble. You will find that you are not consistent in your decisions that you make. You will bring about total chaos and confusion inside your submissive.
Dominants make decisions based on their core values and beliefs. Allow your decisions to flow from these. Allow other people around you to feel comfortable knowing that you are being yourself, being the true dominant that you are.