Punishment and Discipline

” Punishment & Discipline “

The term “Discipline” describes the Psychological restraining, with the use of rules and punishment to control overt behavior. Punishment can be pain caused physically (such as caning), humiliation caused psychologically (such as a public flagellation) or loss of freedom caused physically (for example, chaining the submissive partner to the foot of a bed). Another aspect is the structured training of the Bottom

A slave thrives on the Master’s ability to guide, instruct & discipline them when such is needed. There will be times when you will have to correct and discipline the slave for improper behavior as you have requested the slave to do. Slaves expect their Owners to demonstrate and explain their needs, they expect the Owner/Dominant to instruct about what the Dominant requires of the slave. This is a important aspect of “control” which is apart of the aspect of Mastery over another person. Furthermore, when a slave has done incorrectly, they expect to be punished and corrected for such behavior. If the Dominant fails to do such, they will only seem them as “weak”, and the thrive of their strength will be hurt.

There will become a point in the relationship between you and your slave, where you will have to discipline or punish the slave for improper behavior. There are many things which to take into consideration when you draw up a proper punishment.

[ Thoughts to Remember ]

The first thing to remember is to always understand why the slave did not obey the order which you gave to him or her. Always ask the slave why it is that they disobeyed you, and understand what had happened. There may be a valid reason for the disobedience or not following your command or word. At these times, punishments should not be given as they can be found as abuse. if you punish a slave for something which doesn’t deserve punishment, then the level of trust between the slave and yourself will diminish and problems will occur down the line.

The second concept which you must understand before punishing a slave, is to know the slave inside and out. At this point you should have well completed the disclosure portion the training, and should understand the slave, but in understanding the slave, you should know what punishments will work and which ones will not work. If you are giving a physical punishment, then you should make sure that the pain is at the levels which the slave can tolerate, and do not go over the levels which he/she can tolerate, which can lead to areas of abuse.

Thirdly, when you begin to punish a slave, you must make sure that you yourself are very much in control of yourself. If you punish a slave out of anger or throw a temper, it will be easy for you to loose control, and end up hurting the slave. You must always remain focused, and make sure you are there one hundred percent. Never ever loose control of yourself, because you will loose control of your slave.

You should not punish a slave to the point where he/she begins to fear you. Remember that punishing a slave, means that you are teaching the slave, making them understand and correcting them. Punishment is not a way to hit and abuse your slave for reasons. If you over punish a slave, you run the risk of the slave whose obedience is based upon fear, rather then the want and desire to please you, and his/her desire to serve. You should never terrify the slave into being submissive to you.

The slave should understand completely for what actions he/she will be punished for and which actions he/she won’t be punished for. You should inform the slave of what you require of him/her. The slave should understand the levels of punishment for what infractions, and understand the consequences of their disobedience. There should be no area to question, and if there is, you should instruct the slave on how you like something done. You need to remember that slaves cannot read minds, if there is a way you want something handled, then you need to inform the slave of such.

The next point to punishment is that the punishment should not be pleasing to the slave. The slave should understand that he/she is being punished, and for what reasons they are being punished. The slave should always understand the reason in which they are being punished, and should understand the consequences for their actions.

Once you discipline or punish a slave for a infraction of your rules, or because they have been disobedient, you will need to continue to punish them if they continue to do the same infraction. If you find yourself punishing for the same thing over and over, you may have to look at the punishment at hand, and adjust things. It might be that your punishment is too soft, or isn’t enough, and things may need to be changed. This can be time consuming but if you do not follow through, the level of trust which your slave is putting into you, may lessen overtime, or the slave may begin to question you. Sometimes slave will act in a disobedient way to test your levels, or test you in general. If your slave fails to trust you in this area, how can the slave trust you to make decisions in higher levels of the relationship. You must always choose carefully and wisely. You should make sure the punishment fits the crime. You should also remember not to give so many rules, or punish so often that you forget your own rules.

[ Forms of Punishments & Corrections ]

Verbal Punishments

The first form of correction is in the form of a verbal reprimand. This type of punishment can be as painful and effective as a physical punishment. No slave wants to be told they are being displeasing, as it will shoot right down into their heart. The slave’s main focus is to be pleasing at all times, within their slavery, and to be told otherwise, can be, just as stated, as hurtful as a physical punishment.

“Lectures”

In a more serious act of disobedience, a “lecture” might be required. Lecturing is a more forceful method of avoiding physical contact and physical punishment to the slave. Remember, that a lecture is not a time to start yelling and screaming at the slave. If you begin to raise your voice and yell and scream, you will only show loss and lack of control, and this will hinder and damage the relationship of trust between you and the slave. The lecture is meant for the slave to gain a sense of shame and remorse in the slave, whom has failed to meet and attend to their duties. When lecturing the slave, they should be held within a position of attention. If the slave is bearing any clothing, they should be removed, or least pulled down from the slave, to expose themselves to you. This will encourage the slave to be more attuned and attentive to their place. You should always maintain a firm tone when you speak to the slave. The slave should get the feeling that he/she has caused you displeasure, and that alone will be disconcerting to the slave. You should not allow the slave to speak (see silence training) during a time of lecture. The slave should only be allowed to answer you, when asked direct questions. Do not let the slave control you, but control the slave specially in these times. The slave will be overwhelmed with wanting to say butt, and begging and pleading trying to apologize. Lectures are a very thing which to use.

Physical & Corporal Punishments

The next form of punishment is that of a physical punishment, or sometimes what we consider to be “corporal” punishment. This might include spankings, whippings, canings or other physical types of punishments. While a Dominant’s feel of disappointment might drive home a good point with the slave, sometimes it is not enough, and a more physical or corporal punishment might be required. When applying a corporal punishment, you must be very careful in what you do. You can easily over do the punishment and hurt the slave both physically and mentally. Slaves are not there to be objects which you can beat your frustration out on. With corporal or physical punishments, there is also a point to the slaves. They must address to you whether something is pleasing or not, and if they do so, you need to change it. Punishments are not supposed to be arousing or pleasing to the slave at all.

The slave also has a responsibility to change the mindset in which makes it pleasurable to him/her. It is her duty not to “just accept it” or “just take it””. It is her responsibility to accept it for what it is and not accept it for what it is not. Any slave will know the differences between punishment and pleasure if done correctly by the Dominant.

There are also various other physical punishments. A punishment doesn’t always have to be a corporal one where striking the slave is in order. This is where the Dominant needs to be a bit creative. The more you make the slave think and “feel” the better the punishment will be remembered, and the better the slave will remember what they did wrong or right.

• : (A small closet or room for a period of time. Isolation could mean a lack of telephone, email, or mail communication for a time.)
• Sleep deprivation (Never to the point where health is endangered)
• Make slave wait at attention when she has to use the bathroom before allowing her to go.
• Deprive slave of orgasm for a period of time.
• Hard paddling (deprive slave of sub-space through pausing, changing tempo or severity)
• Writing assignments (by hand)
• When it is used inappropriately, a slave’s mouth can be washed out with soap. (This is not a dangerous practice, but slave should not swallow until she is allowed to rinse -otherwise she might become ill.)
• Ignore slave while she is in your presence.
• Have slave wear sign stating her offense. Place her where she will be noticed (for BDSM friendly use)
• Assign slave extra tasks, or make the tasks more difficult (i.e., washing floor with toothbrush)
• At a restaurant, order your meal and order two slices of white bread and a glass of water for the slave.
• Stand the slave at attention for an extended period of time with the warning that any noise will double the time.
• Stand slave at attention at front door of your home. (Clothed)
• Disallow slave the use of her hands. She should crawl and fetch with her mouth.
• Shave slave’s head (assuming it is appropriate to her vanilla life and she likes her hair.)
• In BDSM friendly spaces, keep slave clothed, give her no scene, do not allow her to kneel or exhibit slave behaviors, but order her to sit quietly in a chair with her hands in her lap and watch the good behavior of other slaves for the evening.
• In fetish or BDSM clubs or private homes, offer slave to owner/manager/host for kitchen or bus service.
• Deny slave’s privileges. (Computer, email, telephone, television) She should spend the time she would normally spend doing these things in journaling, cleaning, or even standing in the corner for the evening.
• Have slave kneel and wrap her mouth around a doorknob for an extended amount of time.
• Place slave in corner, put a dime on the wall just above her waist level and have her hold it there with her nose. Her hands should be behind her back or spreading herself open.
• Place kneeling slave on an upside down welcome mat (the kind with the non-skid spikes)
• Make slave walk to a place she normally drives (within reason).
• If, by bedtime, your slave has not completed her daily chores, she should be made to do so before she can go to bed. (This, of course, after you have finished with her should you desire her services.)
• If slave does not move quickly enough, take her out for a run alongside the car while you drive. (Curious people will think she’s training for a marathon)

 

Some punishments are best if they fit the crime, so to speak – for example:

• If you find dirt in the corner of a floor the slave has just washed, she should first re-wash it, then eat her dinner directly off the floor.
• Improperly folded towels, sheets and clothes can be punished by removing all items from drawers or cupboards and piling them for the slave to refold.
• Dirty dishes found in cupboards can either be eaten from (not terribly effective) or once again, all cupboard items (plates, cups, silver and pans) removed, placed on the floor and re-washed by hand, towel dried, and replaced.
• If you live in a place where children cannot observe you, the slave can wash neglected windows in the nude (at least from the inside)
• If slave has been vocally impertinent, have her try an entire evening without being allowed to speak.

Remember that the listed punishments do not always have to be implemented. The constant reminder or using some as a “promise” might be enough for the slave to remember his/her place. These are not set in stone either, and can be used and changed to fit your needs. These are only meant as some ideas, and more will be added, as more are thought of or brought up. Physical punishments may sometimes be followed by a lecture if such warrants it.

Sometimes you may need to mix and match things, like add a physical strike with a verbal reprimand, or a lecture with a physical punishment. This is solely up to you but remember to make sure that the punishment fits the crime. Remember not to make the punishment too soft you loose your point, or too much that it is to the point of being abusive.

[ The Aftermath of Punishment ]

After you punish a slave, do not move into sexual stimulation immediately. Allot of new Dominants in D/s will make this mistake. You should not reword or cuddle the slave after the punishment. You should make sure they are ok physically, and give them time to overlook and review what has happened. I myself will require the slave to make a journal entry immediately after the punishment has been dealt. There are some Dominants whom will require a separate journal or punishment log to be held. This of course is up to the digression of the Dominant in charge.

Another point to remember that after the punishment has given out, it should end it. You should never bring up “old” infractions as a basis for judging new ones. If you spank or lecture the girl for it, you should not turn round and do it again within a hour or so. This will only grind the slave down even more, and cause mental harm to the slave.

The slave should also be given a chance to always apologize to you after the punishment is given, and you should accept their apology and unless the punishment is something major, you should always tell the slave that you forgive them. This will give them a feeling that they were corrected, punished, and you don’t hate them. Never show hate or anger towards a slave, this only leads to abuse.

You should always remember that just because you are through with the session or the correction, doesn’t mean that the slave will be done with such. Their feelings may go on for awhile. They may be upset over it for a period of time. You are dealing with a slave’s emotions and you must understand them. Punishing a slave is like punishing a child in some regards. It might be wise to put the slave in a position, have them write in their journals, or something which helps them to calm down from the punishment.

[ Final Thoughts to Remember ]

Remember that slaves should confess everything which they should do wrong. If the slave does not, they are only hurting themselves. It is their duty to inform you when they have done wrong. They should understand that if they do not confess the punishment will be more later one. Punishments should not be lessened just because the slave confessed,

And finally for a strong foundation to exist between the Dominant and the slave, the Dominant must always be in control of themselves for all things. The Dominant must mean what they say, and carry through with the promise of punishment when made. If you do not, damage can be done to the relationship. Keep this in mind.