The following are guidelines and techniques for establishing control within the submissive’s lives. When you have a submissive/slave in training, they must be able to feel the control of the Dominant or Owner, just about in every aspect of their lives. The best way to begin control of the mind, the body, and the spirit, is through the use of restrictions. Once the slave understands that her freedom is no longer her own, and is being denied to her, she understands the scope of her commitment. Remember that as everything is with D/s, you must find a balance between building a trusting relationship and limiting freedom. It is very easy for the submissive to feel like a “prisoner” mores then a slave when she is overwhelmed. This is a very intricate process to controlling a slave, and must be taken very carefully. You must understand the psychological impacts to the restrictions which you place upon your trainee.
Restricting the slave’s sexuality
One aspect of restriction is to restrict the slave’s sexuality. This brings her to believe and feel that her sexual pleasures now rely upon you. That you control what she receives, and how she receives it. The following are a few pointers concerning sexual restrictions.
- The slave must no longer have the right to say “no” to any sexual demand or request made by you.
- The slave should not be allowed to touch herself/himself in a sexual manner without an order from you.
- The slave should be denied orgasms unless you demand such of him/her
- The slave should be taught to ask permission for any orgasms and even beg for release. Orgasms without permission should be punished. UNDERSTAND: In the Gorean environment, asking for release was not written in the books. You should take this into consideration if you are seeking a Gorean relationship. They frowned upon such.
Restrictions of a slave’s privacy
- Call for “inspections” of the slave’s body. Call for such when it is least expected.Inspect a slave after a shower, whether it be needed or not. An inspection for cleanliness after the slave uses the bathroom is extremely humiliating, but powerful reminder that he/she has given up all aspects of control and rights to the most private aspects of her life. Don’t inspect the genital areas specifically. Give attention to the slave’s hair, teeth, gums, nails, act. This reminds her that all aspects of her body are now under your control and cannot be shielded by false modesty.
- Allow the slave to keep nothing secret.However, you should not monitor a slave’s phone calls and phone use. You should not infringe on the slave’s right of privacy as this can be considered “illegal” by many country based laws. It is best just to disallow phone calls all together, if you wish to control this aspect. Another thing is not to open a slave’s mail. Allow her to open her own mail and turn it over to you if that is your agreement. If your slave refuses to do so, then find out why.
- The slave should not spend time on the computer alone, or without your expressed knowledge. The slave should also not have anything pass worded which you cannot get into. Any chats or postings should be saved and reviewed by you.
- The slave should not be able to close doors behind them.
- The slave must feel your presence during the most intimate times.
- Do not allow the slave to be evasive in conversations with you. Encourage him/her to examine her thoughts and feelings and reveal them to you.
Restrictions of a slave’s time
- Once a slave’s training has begun, the slave must realize that his/her time is no longer belonging to them. The slave now operates on your schedule, and your schedule alone, does what you wish of him/her.In the first few months of training, a slave should be denied free time to himself/herself to drive home the feeling of slavery, as well as to focus totally on his/her training, and not allow other activities to distract such. The slave’s day and night should be filled of activities in which you designate. You should be very detailed, but generally, the slave should tend matters of housekeeping, cleaning, personal care for her Owner/Dominant, then himself/herself, and most importantly practicing, journaling, or anything else you may find fit to assign to them.
- Disallow the slave use of the television, phone, computer, or other electronic devices and games during the first few months of her training. This should be seen as a reward for good behavior, as any other privilege would be, and made available in small doses to increase the slave’s appreciation, acceptance, and understanding or rewards.
- When a slave has nothing else to do, they should be placed in a position of attendance at your feet, to be called upon. This could be a slave mat, directly at your feet, or in a room till they are needed.
- The slave should be given a time to rise each morning, and a time to go to bed each night. These times do not need to be set with yours. The slave should usually rise before the Dominant/Owner so he/she can do morning rituals to prepare for His/Her waking.
- The slave should have a balanced diet, however should have set times in which he/she is allowed to eat.
- The slave should be restricted on how many times they are permitted to go to the restroom during the day.
Restriction of a slave’s environment
A slave which is currently under training should contain some environment restrictions. When used sensibly and properly, can open up the concept of full time serving. Please note, that “sensible” and “proper” being the key words here. Keeping a woman locked up in a dungeon, sitting in a cage, totally at your mercy is not only unreal, but immoral in the same. We must understand once again the psychological ramifications for doing what we are doing.
- Restrict the slave to the house, only allowing them outside of the house to tend with their job or schooling. The slave should not be let outside of the house without your knowledge or presence. This should only be done for a few weeks, and then some outside time should be given for the sanity of the slave.
- Initially all excursions into the outside world, should be done at your digression, and have purposes that relate directly to her place as a slave. These purposes could be running errands, grocery shopping, washing the car, cutting the lawn, tending to the garden, and other things such as this. The slave should be given just enough time to complete these tasks, and told to return home after such. The “initial” trips should be issued as rewards for good behavior, even though the slave’s time is spend in service. If a slave misbehaves or spends more time then is allowed, such should be met with harsh punishment, and removal of such rights, to understand once again that a slave’s time is not his/her own.
- The slave should be restricted to the house. They should not be allowed to enter certain areas, such as your bed chambers, your study, office area, or other places which are personal to you. This could even be a closet, or chest, or drawers where your personal belongings are held. You might restrict the slave to a specific room, or a group of rooms, or part of the house during the first few days/weeks of his/her training. Those rooms should be the ones which is required to tend his/her tasks such as the kitchen, bathroom, and sleeping quarters. If your home is small, you may consider restricting him/her to a piece of furniture, or chained to a pipe, seeing that the slave is confined to a small space, and not free to roam.
After the training program has done with and completed, the slave should still maintain some restrictions. She may be restricted from using furniture, sitting, sleeping in the Dominant’s/Owner’s bed, doing things without permission. This is a maintenance technique which helps to continually reinforce the slave’s placement and status in the relationship.
- Restraining the slave for long periods of time and leaving him/her alone or “caging” him/her for long periods of time is not recommended due to safety reasons, in the initial stages of training. The slave can end up freaking out, specially if the slave has not formed a trusting deep relationship with you yet. It may scare him or her too much. In most cases, Long Term Restrictions are concerned extreme and unhealthy, physically, mentally and psychologically. Here are some pointers and ideas when leaving a slave in long term bondage
- A slave whom is physically bound by rope, chain or anything else, must always have a means to escape such bondage. The reasons for this is, should you become ill, pass out, have a heart attack, or for the worse extreme case die, a fire, or another sort of emergency, the slave should know how to release himself/herself.
- A key could be placed in a envelope within the slave’s reach, if the bounds are locking. Sealing wax, or some other way of sealing the envelope should be used, which could not be replaced, so you as the Dominant/Owner would know if the slave had used such. If opened without a good reason, the slave should be met with strict and harsh punishment.
- Use “quick release” knots when working with ropes. The slave should easily be able to pull upon the ropes to release the bonds.
- If her restrictions take place outside of your eyes, or ears, the slave should be able to quickly release himself/herself, and instructed on methods to do so. A slave should NEVER be left helpless without supervision.
- Do not disregard the possibility of emotional emergencies. Slaves may, specially if this is the first time in long term bondage, become distressed, and begin to panic. Extreme emotional distress is a emergency, and the slave should not be punished for such. Another method of restriction should be found if this happens.
- Finally, restricting a slave’s environment does not mean IGNORING him/her. You MUST check in on him/her from time to time, to reassure yourself and him/her of safety, that you care, and am not just leaving them there